Sometimes it isn't the thought that counts

A good friend - my lunch-mate under the kemboja tree during school who taught me explicit Cantonese - called me up a couple of days back while I was in a middle of an immensely unstimulating PeeCee about some "breakthrough" software. Saved by the ringtone!

So I stepped out of the posh function room and asked her how's things, how's it going on with her new love (she met someone recently, and on top of that she just switched careers so we didn't get to see each other much) and all. She went silent for a while...

... and this sign from her I always recognize - she's holding back something. You see she was brought up in a family that's very rigid - any sign of emotion would be considered rude, weak, uncalled for, yadda yadda.. So she always "emit" silence when something upsets her.

So I said, "C'mon F, spit it out - what izzit?"

And she launched into a fit!

"Can you believe this guy - I had to go to Philippines recently for work, and on top of my very busy schedule I bought him a pendant for souvenir - OK lah, it costed me very little, like RM12 or a bit more - but I had to venture out on my own to the nearby bazaar - smelly like anything - and it was nearly dark then - to get the bloody thing! and you know what - my short trip out had costed me more - I was attacked by a bunch of people trying to sell me stuff, a kid puked on my shoes cause he was sickly - I gave the boy a bit of change and that made more of them come and try to puke some more on my shoes!"

Note that the above sentence was actually longer (I could not recall verbatim) and said in half a breath. And she continued...

"When I got home he came over - I gave him his souvenir and you know what he said?"

Before I could guess with the usual "Err..." she yelped miserably...

"He said "This small thing? You were away for five days and you only think of me this much?" - that's wot he said, can you believe it?! And you know what else he said? He said "If this is the souvenir you're giving me, I don't want it." Can you believe it?!"

I didn't have time to backhand an emphatic "Jerk!" back to her court, cause she was on a roll... (imagine squasy instead of tennis)...

"I told him "Hello?! It's the thought that counts! You don't know what I had to go through to get you this 'small thing'! If you can't appreciate this, you're not appreciating me - so don't waste my time!" Then I called him bodoh sombong jantan tak guna, kicked him out of the house - told him to go find some lonely Mak Datin if he wants expensive souvenirs!"

"So you two broke up and..?"

"I definately broke up with him - he's done things like this too many times already. He's still calling me - you guessed it right? - said the pendant was nice, and he wants it, and he wants me back in his life, he'll be sensitive to my feelings, he's so sorry - but sorrylah!"

"You mean when you threw him out of your house, he didn't take the pendant?"

"Nope, he had thrown it back to me then - hey, would you like to have it?"

"Egh, sure.."

"It's sort of a flower - chrysantimum I think - made from snake teeth! Hmm, I think you'll like it!"

"Err... snake tooth? Err... You know what, F, I have this reptilian-based allergy..."