Thursday, December 28, 2006

Otherwise normal

Circa 1990s, she was a teacher at our school.

She's the skinny Ms with shoulder length hair pinned at the sides, her fair skin graced with just a little make-up on her face. Standing at medium height in her black pumps, most of the time she's in pastel-coloured baju kurung or a combi of maxi skirt and billowy blouse.

She's one that walks with quiet confidence in the hallways, yet articulate and strict in class.

She thought the sixth formers, but along with a few more teachers, she took over my class for a short duration while our teacher in charge was on maternity leave. She shared bits and pieces of general knowledge, addressing us in Bahasa Malaysia, once in a while in English.

But we've heard about her dark peculiarity, so non of us dared to test her. We were too fascinated with her mysterious personality to have time for pranks.

Younger teachers speak in hushed tones everytime she walks by. The seasoned staff don't discuss her at all. The headmistress treats her just like anyone else.

Of course, PIBG parents were worried. When the buzz about her became to hard to ignore, the ustazs and ustazahs released a general warning to the students to seek them out if someone tries to confuse us about religion.

We all know who they meant by "someone".

Every time it's her turn to babysit, we expected her to launch into a sermon to lure us into darkness, or maybe hypnotize us into becoming her followers. But she never did.

The only time she did something different was that time she gave out a recipe in conjunction of the class being moved to the Kemahiran Hidup lab.

Then one day she was already in the news. She claims she's the messenger of God who brings God's words.

It was as if a deep sea volcano had erupted - students saw only ripples on the surface but we knew deep down it was a serious matter. Parents came worried, teachers tried to play it down while the headmistress took the necessary actions.

Local ulamas swiftly did their job - she was detained and asked to repent. According to reports she did. We heard she was transferred to the education office to do clerical work, and we never saw her again.

Once in a while the news about her resurfaced, and apparently she still believes she is the chosen one. But the last we heard about her was years ago.

To suddenly see her being headline material again is quite a tragedy. All these years and she's still swimming against the tide.

Wonder what's going on in her head?

What was it that propelled her towards the path she chose?

What is triggering her thoughts and action?

Has anyone ever tried to get her to tell her story?

Has anyone truly helped her?

Where's her family?

What kept her going?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

In today's newspaper

NST today seems to be brimming with stuff I just have to read, despite having three stories unfinished and two bloody products to review:

1] Johor bah!
Sorry my Sabahan friends, when I say bah, it's not to replace lah. I meant Johor is underwater. I don't know from which state that term came from, but bah means flood from where I come from.

And folks had to be moved from their homes, lifted into boats and sent to camp out at makeshift shelters.. hope rain stops quickly and the water levels will get back to normal. I hope that cat, Piper who saved her human family from becoming landslide victims is safe somewhere too. Good cat!

And some of my mates are on their way for "Xmas" shopping in Singapore.. Er, more like motor shopping, we're talking about Arai helmets and Honda fairings and Ohlin dampers etc.. I hope they'll not get stranded and get to go on with their programme.

2] Thailand stock market semi-crashed
That report by Mustapha Kamil on the Bangkok stock market dipping by 14.8 per cent (and brokers keep thinking they'll wake up tomorrow and things will get better) reminded me of 1997 - it was a sad time - though on a microscopic level I'm glad that I don't have to leave home to further studies and still get government money running into my account.

Then, many of my college mates were upset that the government decided to pull the plug off the overseas studies program (imagine, of all sectors, education is one that seems easiest to scrape), but some snakes did get to fly and they promised their TESL mates who had to be transferred to UPertanianM that they'll bash Soros on their way to their class. (None of them get to do that, bunyi je lebih.)

Can you blame anyone for enjoying the silver lining? Hey, I'll not be one of those people pouring money into foreign economies. So I bought jeans and tees and belanjaed my family at a local restaurant with my studies allowance - the least I could do to get Ipoh's economy upbeat at that moment.

3] Houston rapist after boys
Apparently a clean-shaven man, 18-21 years old, a botak armed with a gun has been randomly stalking, robbing, and sexually assaulting boys. So far five late-teenaged boys has come forward to lodge reports, but police suspects there are many more victims relunctant to do so.

Sometime ago a guy - unfortunately he's quite jambu - confided about him being violated twice and each time by a different dude. The first time he was so shocked, he narrowly escaped. The second time, despite being attacked from behind while playing on a games console, he managed to kick the fella's balls and cabut.

There's been studies that show rapists are less eager to proceed if the victim continues to fight. However at gunpoint..

4] The rags and riches Singapore story
It was about that comment Wee Shu Min, daughter of Singapore MP Wee Siew Kim, left on a guy's blog post about him worried about losing his job ("one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country", signed off with "please, get out of my elite uncaring face"; and later topped by her father's comment "her basic point is reasonable").

Apparently despite being Asia's second-richest country (Japan still tops) with GDP per capita of +/-US$27,000 (RM97,000), in terms of income disparity the country's Gini index, which measures inequality of income distribution among households, Singapore scores 42.5, sandwiching it between Burundi and Kenya (so shows UN Human Development Report 2006) .

Biar betul? It was just like hearing from Oprah that a big percentage of Americans are living in poverty. I take for granted what I see on Puah Chu Kang and Under One Roof (assuming they're just like Gilmore Girls and Everybody Loves Raymond - so called reflection of the American lifestyle, vv).

I take for granted that the country looks so modern and the population is not that big, so guess it would be easier to make sure everyone is taken care of, right?

Wrong. Running a country - humongous, big, so-so, small, tiny, unknown, whatever the size - is hard work. Now I know. (I guess in a smaller scale, running a family is also tough for most parents nowadays huh, as we've seen what one offspring can cause. Bet I'm a cause for my parents to worry as well.)

So with that, thanks to all of Malaysia's true leaders, (especially my politically-active-even-in-her-70s aunt who's always reminding us cousins to remember our roots) and tabik hormat!

5] Letters to the Editor: Goodbye Bok House
For this I gotta thank photography instructor, Mr Eric Peris for making us visit that magnificent but dilapidated, little, old bungalow.

6] 50 new species found in Borneo
And one of it is a tree frog! I'll be thinking of that the next time I'm going for the Sarawak Rainforest World Music Festival!

Friday, December 08, 2006

Everything massive

^ One of the many series of temples - gargantuan lot all of them - are converted to become a touristy shopping area.

That's just how it is in a country as big as China. The buildings are huge giants, the dishes (especially ones you can't eat) are a whole load, and even the girls are taller damnit!

No I don't have pix of the leggy Shanghai gals, they're not as sporting as the Shibuya divas. Last night I was asking for directions to this Italian restaurant where the rest of the benchmarkers are meeting, and this perempuan simply turned away even though I said "Ni hao."

Again just now, I asked a peddlar at the night market how much for the item he's selling, but he pointedly talked away with his two lady companions in order to brush me off. Aiyo, what hospitality? Pelik kan ca ya tak nak buat duit?

To think they have a long history of civilization... No such thing as being civil here! Most of them are as cold as the December weather!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Socks-ed trees

So one idiot decided that a winter jacket is not worth bringing for a couple of days trip to a four-season country (which is not anywhere down under) right at the start of December and settled for a lousy combination of sweater and jacket instead.

Anyway weather's very cold in Shanghai, even its trees are "wearing" socks!

^ Stocking-ed trees saying welcome along the Pudong Airport - main Shanghai highway.

And what bad news! Apparently the fake market Shanghai is famous for has closed down 6 months ago! No grade A fake TagH watch, LeSportSac totes, not even low grade Adibas pedals for the taking - what a waste.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Sarawak Rainforest Music Festival... in Penang?

It was one of those story that make you go "Hmm.."

In today's NST an article, "Sarawak claims Rainforest fest as its own" By Firdaus Abdullah (Nation, pg 29 col 1), is a definate "Hmm.." material. Got you thinking that is.

Apparently Penang Tourism Development and Environment Committee chairman, Teng Chan Yeow said that the Rainforest World Music Festival (RWMF) will be held in Penang next year. [Note: Hmm.. One time..]

It will be the first time the happenin' fest will be held outside of Sarawak, and reports also quoted Teng as saying Penang was chosen by the Tourism Ministry to host next year's event, which was expected to cost RM1.5 million to organise. [Note: Hmm.. Two time..]

Firdaus writes on, aptly inserting Sarawak Tourism Board chief executive officer Gracie Geikie's comment:

"If the ministry is allocating RM1.5 million, then it should be given to Sarawak because we started the event from scratch and today it's an international event which uniquely identifies Malaysia and the rainforest. We have been doing it for nine years in a row and the last thing we want is for 'our baby' to be hijacked on its 10th birthday."

And she has the backing of a senior Tourism Ministry officer [Note: Hmm.. an unidentified
senior officer.. Three time..] who said, "As far as I know, the festival belongs to Sarawak as it is their product. I do not know where people get all these funny ideas of moving an established event like the music festival. It's like organising a fishing trip in the Sahara." [Note: Hmm.. four time!]

Hmm.. so.

What would RWMF look like in Penang? A couple of stages erected amidst the fragrant durian trees and next to the charming winding roads of Balik Pulau (sorry, it was the first venue that pops into mind) maybe? Kinda risky lah.

Though someone will likely make money selling Perisai Penang (I imagine foot stomping and hip gyrating in the middle of high-risk terrain naturally calls for iron body suits) and matching Helmet of the Orient (stainless steel, and you get to carve your name on it too!) eh?

RWMF is not exactly PC Fair la. People don't just walk in to RWMF expecting to grab something they've been surveying online/Low Yat Plaza for a couple of months then quickly run out of the venue (and they don't really mind if it is PWTC or KLCC) to avoid the jostling crowd.

There's lots of reasons why people go to RWMF, year after year on that second weekend of July, each time dragging everyone they knew.

It's not just the music. It's the crowd, the activity, the ambiance, the nights, the days.

There will be centenarian trees shading you from the hot afternoon sun, tomcats and ayam sleeping through your (and others') rain-beckoning sing-along and wince-inclined dance steps.

^ Watch then follow! Tak ingat lirik tak sape perasan de, tis how you move!

There will be activities - hello, not collecting freebies from each exhibitor booth - it will be interactive workshops where you can learn and do what the performers do, together with your gang and those total strangers camping next to you next to the tempat ketuk batang sagu.

^ Finale concert highlight - all the cute guys playing good music throughout the event will be there - can't have durian trees in between you and the stage now, can we?

There will be crowd - yes, jostling they will be, but only to persuade you to join them moving to the music.

And there will be food! Yeah... goooood fooood...

Hmm.. hard to imagine RWMF happening elsewhere but just there at the foot of Mount Santubong, Sarawak.

Eh Penang, get your own fest started lah.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Raya bytes

Top five quotes netted from conversations overheard (or forced to listen to) during recent Raya break:

1] Mak Utih Minang Gombak to her guests of unmarried nieces plus unmarried daughters: "If you aren't married but your carreer is going great like Ella's it's OK. Ni kerja tah hape-hape, and always underpaid, baik kau semua cari laki kaya, yang bayar hantaran sampai RM44,444 gitu..."

2] Pak Chik Razak to his bunch of yuppie nephews and nieces: "Kau nak jadi Datuk? Hah, tak payah buat MBA. Kau cari je mana-mana somebody yang ada bini, anak empat; berharta, berpangkat - lepas tu kau rampas dia, jadikan laki kau. Mesti kau dapat Datukship lepas tu... Tapi takdelah kami nak respect kau lagi dah lepas tu."

3] Yuppie older cousin to even yuppier younger cousins: "Who is this Amir Muhammad? Why is NST wasting its page on him when he can only write cock? Since he's so jealous his film is banned while Rosyam Noor's stuff are all over the TV and wayang, do something about it gentlemanly lah, not whine like a Lisdawati on newspaper like this!"

4] Mak Ngah Siah to Kak Leha Taiping: "Apa pasal diorang nak marah Arni je, tah-tah masa still married si Awie tu bukan jaga pun anak-anak dia. Arni tu muda lagi, elok masuk Akademi Fantasia je."

5] A grandfather to grandchildren: "Hep! Abang, Adik! No Gerak Khas scenes, remember?"

Monday, October 16, 2006

The perfect way to meet perfectly good people..

.. is by getting yourself in trouble. I mean deep, deep trouble.

Take my day for example. I was running late for a date with flight MH 94, and I missed the 1.10PM ERL Transit. Called fello travelling mate for advice, and he said MAS says 2.15PM should be alright still for checking in.

Wasted an extra 30 mins, and contemplated getting a cab or someone to drive me. Figured out if everything goes well, I'll still be able to check in for my 3.15PM flight to Taiwan by 2.15PM on the 1.40PM Transit.

While debating the virtues of cabs vs trains, I met this nice young Engineering student, Jega, who was nice enough to help me go through my options. Stuck to the taking 1.40PM Transit.

Train came quickly when you have a nice young fella to talk to and calm your nerves.

We sat in front of this nice purple tudung clad lady, who was on her way to KLIA to Kuching. She was wise enough to check in at KL Sentral and start off early. Now why wasn't I able to do the same?

When she told us that ERL is having a little problem - that she's actually an Express ticket holder, not Transit, I got even more kancheong!

Train moved slower than usual after Jega's stop, Putrajaya/Cyberjaya. I frantically called everyone - my mom for prayers, my sis for a contact person at MAS counter.

Decided I'll have to do more than that - just as the ERL stop dead inside some kind of tunnel right before Salak Tinggi. Mak!!!

"If this train don't move in 2 seconds, I'm not going to Taiwan! I'M GOING TO DIE ONE!" my brain screamed out.

I went around to the guy at the next row and asked if he has MAS Toll Free Number. He didn't, but the Encik behind him does!

I got talking to a MAS employee and he assured me that even half an hour before boarding gate closes is good enough still for check in. "ERL ada masalah? Takpe cik proceed je. Jangan risau."

OK will try. Train starts moving again. Finally got to Salak Tinggi. A MAS crew walked in, and I attacked her with queries. They prolly had the same teacher. She also said, "Cik proceed je. Sempat tu."

I even found out which ERL train door is closest to the excalator. Three ERL staff was standing at a particular door, and assured me to follow them and grab the lift that goes straight to the departure hall as the messed us ERL train is going to hub at the Express exit instead of the far away (unfair!) Transit.

Did exactly that then found the checking counter. The lady behind the counter wasn't as friendly the two I came in contact with earlier, but she managed to get my Enrich card swiped and sent me running to the boarding gate.

Got on train, got on flight, got to Taiwan. Except for the part where the uncle next to me tried to tell me not to wear anything green or red due to current political unrest whilst in Taipei (in Mandarin lagi tu!), the rest of the day was not as interesting.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Tis a good Friday

There's a big buzz today at the new coop.

Filming on the company's ad was going on in the main area, and lots of people who didn't look like they've ever worked in a publishing house showed up looking all corporate-sy with files in hand, and tried to blend in.

And we all tried to look like the productive lot we always are. Betul ke ayat ni? OK lah tu.

The ad director came walking around while waiting for the set to be prepared, and asked me what I was writing about.

"I'm writing about a talking vacuum cleaner." (Trying to sound as if this is the kind of thing I do everyday.)

"Come again? Really?" (Heard it for the first time, but just could not believe his simple question would've gotten a reply like the above.)

"Yeah, really." (Betui incik.. Sure do wish I was writing about something else though!)

"Well, what does it say?" (One brow up, the other holding a sign that says "Biar betul minah nih?")

"Oh, stuff like 'Power on.' and 'Maximum mode.' kinda thing." (Imitates the vacuum cleaner to a T)

"No kidding? Anything else?" (Starting to believe what I said was true.)

"Uhm.. no. No gossip, no singing a tune, er.. not much."

"Ah, too bad." (Looks genuinely disappointed.)

"Next model maybe." (Sincerely hopes this will lift his spirits up.)

"Ah... ya, next model, maybe." (Lightens up instantly. Then walks away to safety, just in case I start talking about the coffee machine that can recite poems in the morning.)

p/s: Hari ni durian runtuh dari s-o-n-y!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Too little time to vote..

I was out with friends last Friday night, when amidst a very important discussion about how monkeys that can swim has something to do with the ikan pari species that reputedly killed Steve Irwin, came an SMS that reads...

"P*** nye suki!" [Sent: 23:28:12 22-09-2006]

Sent by my mate Intan, it quickly reminded me that One In A Million Grand Finale was on that night.

^ Above already a good lot! Pix borrowed from Thanks!

And the simple SMS also sealed the fact that it is too late for me to vote for Faizal some more (yes, I voted him in three times to finish off the credits on the DiGi prepaid pack that I had gotten for free, and wasted the rest of the credits to vote out a certain individual who did not show any effort to deserve the hiyakumon doruno).

I decided to tune in to its siaran ulangan yesterday - and regretted some more that it is (secara hakikatnya benar) too late for me to vote the Superman in.

Damn he did good! Like Alif, he did well to carry the original composition to the max (despite the song sounding very much like Dealova he managed to rockerized it and lend his vibe of originality to it), and his triple-play offering afterwards was even better. L.O.V.E. it!

There was a lot of gimmick involved - the cams on him right before he gets on stage, more dancers to accompany - as if the OIAM production is in conspiracy to make him look especially good (ini cuma andaian penulis sahaja).

They had too, I guess, especially when they've seen whoever comes close to brushing off Suki from leading the pack gets a lot of vote outs (read: Dayang, week after week, then Faizal turning up at the Grand Finale in lowest position sedangkan just the week before it was Alif sharing a spot next to Dayang as bottom two - so formula seems clear, yes?).

My fave Alif too got a real great song to suit his style, one that gave him ample room to growl out his low register and high notes for him to tackle with minimal effort and of course, do the kangkang thing.

He was visibly more confident during the second song, but I still think his best performance was the "Bukan kau pinta... " (subtle sign language accompanies) song - hate to agree with Paul on this - the dude IS made for theatre.

Suki got the Gemilang Part Two song - more catchy and almost as melodious - but did a terribly forgettable rendition (I can still remember how Alif and Faizal's songs go, not hers). She nailed the M2M song, though, but the bloody white hat! What's up with that?

And whoever was dressing up Faizal in that horrible excuse of jeans on fire has got to be fired! Poor Suki and Faizal, and Zai's mummy's top plus grandma pearls combo summoh! Haiyo.. the disastrous wardrobe reminded me how badly Dina and Jac was dressed during the Malaysian Idol 1 Finale!

Why 8TV why?

Anyway, while I'm at it, I gotta thank TV9 and TV3 for showing XX Ray - with Faizal Hussein doing his best - two times this month. Can rerun some more ah?

And 8TV, Intan's asking: She sent like 20+ SMSes to vote in Faizal, but it all didn't get through! The system kept giving her the "Your vote is unsuccessful...Please try again later.." kinda SMS.

What's up with that? Tak aci la like this...

Friday, September 22, 2006

"Apa woi, woi? Nama saja Melayu, budi bahasa tadda.."

And that's why I really dig P. Ramlee films - so lightweight, so simple, yet so kena! Like Ogy Ahmad Daud loves to say, "Mainan dalaman gitu!"

The line I placed on the title box above was taken from Seniman Bujang Lapok - it was the scene in which the threesome were trying to get into the Jalan Ampas film studio.

^ Above photo borrowed from thanks! Er.. mana Sudin.. kenapa tadda dalam ini gambar?

Ajis, Sudin and Ramlee each tried their luck in confronting the guard outside the studio - in not so many words and very little effort, they belittled the guard, asking the Indian dude questions choppily as if the stout fella was just a simpleton.

Hence the guard's famous, short but not so sweet snub.

A big ego might get in the way of seeing the real message these actors are putting out.

A more open mind (plus two years of Sastera Melayu in school for that isi tersirat extraction skill) will be more likely to notice that the single sentence, Nama saja Melayu, budi bahasa tadda.. actually signifies a number of things:

1] That Nama saja Melayu is a very literal thing - and that the things people usually notice earliert about other people, among others, is the race one is - which is not a bad thing, tis just the way things are.

2] That back then, Malays and budi bahasa are parallels, synonyms, expected, characterized.

3] That when a Malay is lacking of budi bahasa, it is an appalling condition, shocking, unexpected, should-end-up-as-front-page material kinda thing.

4] That the line is a really, really subtle yet deep-sliced teguran and should only be highly appreciated, as it comes from another fella who is not a Malay but knows enough about the Malays to know that Malays are berbudi bahasa kinda lot. After all the Indian dude must have been a friendly kinda chap and sure have gotten to know a lot of other Malay dudes to know that most of them are berbudi bahasa and rarely he finds one that does not potray the same characteristic.

So that's why when my Malay gal friends come complaining that they're so so so very tired of Malay boys trying to mengorat by making that stupid mouse screeching sound and throwing lines like, "Huiyo, berapa punya banyak la burger dia makan!"

Komen sebodoh itu sesuai betul kalu dibalas dengan, "Bukan setan, syaitan. Sultannn."

It kinda reminds us of the Bujang Lapok boys and the Studio Jalan Ampas guard. Even the Bujang Lapok boys were quick to throw in an apology and revert to their gentlemanly ways, why not do the same?

My suggestion: Kalu nak ngorat tu, just come over our teh tarik table with a smile. Make sure we aren't talking about our menses or body hair, then say la, "Excuse me, I'm Omar. My gang and I would like to be friends with you gals, can or cannot?"

OK what. Susah sangat ke nak buat?

"Aah, Omar boleh!"

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Cara menghiburkan hati yang...

... marah:

1] Tarik nafas... lepas... tahan kejap... then ulang berkali-kali hingga tak boleh ulang lagi.

2] Decide secepat mungkin, agak-agak Hang Tuah ke Hang Jebat yang lebih hengsem tatkala dia memandu sebuah Proton Iswara?

3] Korek telinga seperlahan yang mungkin.

... frust:

1] Tarik nafas... lepas... ulang berkali-kali hingga tak boleh ulang lagi.

2] Decide secepat mungkin, siapa lagi comel: Big Bird sebagai runners-up Ratu Kebaya Tahun '67 atau Ronald McDonald sebagai jurucakap terbaru MaybeMaybeline?

3] Minum air kelapa muda yang ada payung kecik tercucuk at the side tu di tepi pantai yang indah.

... tension:

1] Tarik nafas... lepas... jeritkan perkataan "Bahulu, biawak, calculator, refrigerator!" dan ulang berkali-kali hingga tak boleh ulang lagi.

2] Decide secepat mungkin, mana lebih menakutkan: Budak yang dalam filem Ju-on tu ke, atau doktor gigi anda di sekolah rendah?

3] Carik-carikkan suratkhabar dan suruh kucing anda tolong "kemaskan" sepahnya. Syok oo..

... berdebar-debar:
1] Tarik nafas pannnnjang-panjang, lepas.... ulang secukup rasa.

2] Decide secepat mungkin, handphone mana lagi best, Samsung SGH-E900 atau LG K800?

3] Sempena keadaan yang mencemaskan anda itu, nyanyikan lagu: "Ketipak ketipak ketipung, suara gendang bertalu-talu, purak-purak bingung, hati di dalam bagai dipalu.. Yea ha!"

... boring:
1] Tarik nafas... lepas... eh tak boleh? Cuba lagi sekali tengok?

2] Decide selewat mungkin, mana lebih panas: Jalan kaki ke grocery terdekat di kala noon time atau duduk cubicle office yang bersebelahan dengan cubicle budak kaki kipas tuh.

3] Lipat baju, kemas rumah, cuci toilet, siram bunga, bersihkan aquarium, practice organ, teka iklan TV... blog!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

New coop! New rules

Yesterday it was my moving to the new office day...

... thanks to a long island break that stretched from the mid of last week throughout the weekend - 21-year old, born and bred in Tioman, fun guide of ours Sarip of Genting Bayu Chalet had the eight of us enjoying our asses off... we're all still sing sing singing about it!

Sigh. (Happy sigh)

I got the whole moving business done quite quickly - stacks of crap and junk that had to be kept - sheesh. And what did me, my stack of crap and junk got to?

A real big ass place with Farmers know how many Chickens in it.

Whoa... macam susah je nak practice flexi-hour kat sini?

And the Fave Farmer isn't such a big ass in this big ass pool... so if the Farmer can't go around, the rest of the Chickens will have to fly... and this time it won't be legal. Sigh.

Why is flexi-hours the coolest thing in the corporate world?
- It'll make people deliver better work as there's the option to do it at the time when their creative juices flow
- It'll make the best workers stay
- It'll make me happy!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Stink bean

So we're left with only eight planets in our Solar System. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.

And since we're talking about stars, Mawi and Ina will have an on-air, live broadcast clash. That, versus Siti & DK's wedding on another channel.

And Rita Rudani did her job but Nisdawati goes around parading what looked more like a mild case of eye-bags from late night parties at Planet Hollywood than a bruise.

And Amber Chia is after somebody else's hubby - too bad he's not a Datuk, otherwise she'd take over Julia Hana's spot.

And Fazura's shoe circus plus Nurfarahin's khalwat case are on trial. (P/S: None of the witness remember what her shoe looked like... So regardless what Paula Malai Ali insinuated about Malaysian women and Jimmy Choo heels, Fazura ain't into that.)

And at first glance on a recent edition of Malay Mail, I thought Maya Karin said she only know a Khairi Who, not that she doesn't know who's Khairi. (Sorry, tak perasanla got the question mark at the end. Someone's bum was sitting on it.)

And of course there's still people still mengomel sakit hati over Sharifah Amani's quote. As Jarum Emas says - akhirnya Pak Menteri juga yang menang.

But what's the most interesting piece I've read on print media?

Well, ladies and gents, thanks to New Straits Times and writer Eu Hooi Khaw, I found out that the uber delicious petai is actually called stink bean in Anglais, also parkia speciosa to botanists.

While I've heard that it is supposed to be effective in lowering blood sugar, high in fibre and betacarotene rich, I didn't know that stink beans also contain tryptophan, which converts into serotonin that gives you that happy, relaxed feeling.

No wonder I get this unexplainable feel good feeling right after every petai meal.

I remember the first time petai-appreciation dawned on me: The calling came in the form of udang sambal petai - ate till my stomach waved a white flag between my eyes (gulped lots of water in between as the sambal assault was damn pedas).

Young, spoiled and hot-tempered then - yet throughout the afternoon I was nicer to my siblings.

Even when Along wants to watch Pink Panther on RTM (no Jem and the Holograms on TV3 for me). Even when Angah made me jump over the dilapidated fence to retrieve his missing Bola Sakti Harimau Berantai. Even when Alang only wants to hang with her high-school RPS gang and discuss make-up and I wasn't included. "Aiman tak kissah..."

Hell, that was one memorable petai-laden lunch.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

"I sound stupid when I speak Malay..."

The Malays have a saying:

Kerana pulut santan binasa,
Kerana mulut badan binasa.

The recent fiasco over Sharifah Amani's "rude and unbecoming" award acceptance speech has triggered more interest than I thought it would. When I first saw it over the telly, I thought, "Wow, that speech smells so much like trouble - bet that's not gonna go down so well with certain quarters!"

But I thought with all the hype surrounding Siti N and Datuk K's wedding, Amani might just get lucky and escape media lashings. I was wrong. (Note that in a warped kinda way, it was kinda pleasant - all those stories like "Jurunikah gugup" and "Fairytale wedding" kinda make me wanna throw up already.)

The next day, the media did their job - many focusing on what they deemed as the most controversial part of the usually boring event in the book of Malaysia's entertainment history. Other artistes too chipped in with their own views - someone even mentioned that Amani is tainting her mother's good image.

And the minister invited too, did what needs to be done. What any respecting Malay would have done.

He said the remark Amani made may not have been uttered with sole intention of inciting negative response from the public especially Malays - however that is exactly what she did - and she must take responsibility.

I bet the minister must have had the insight that Amani, though she was speaking for herself, is the representative of artistes and urban youths of her generation - a generation which has been exposed to globalisation; a generation who thinks their mother-tongue, along with their ethic identity as well as the culture and routine that ties with it are no longer of importance.

They no longer feel proud saying "peti ais" - they rather say "refrigerator" - complete with an American/UK slang to go with it too.

Hence the minister added (which I think an advice that is also targeted to all parents of Amani's generation), "Harap ibu bapanya boleh mengajarkannya budi bahasa yang lebih baik..."

... as he knows that the generation is still young, and trainable.

I wonder if he knows that most urban parents of Amani's generation prefers speaking to their kids in English as they feel it will increase their kids' survival rate in the new economy? (Of course, some just want to be trendy and bangga tidak menentu kerna bisa berbahasa omputehs and not so much of their bahasa ibunda so...).

Hence the kids running around saying "I express myself better in English..." just cause they're never trained to express themselves in their bahasa ibunda in the first place.

That's no excuse - while you can embrace new elements that can take you further, should not one also be proud of one's heritage? If you can learn to express yourself well in one language, why not another?

And this is Amani, the young kebaya-clad star who's been called the muse to director Yasmin Ahmad, the very lady who celebrates Malaysia's diversity and proudly flaunts the strong characteristics of each ethnicity in each of her movie... seems a bit hard to just forget and forgive.

To me the minister's move is a reflection of the better yesterdays, days when even your uncles and aunts and teachers and ketua kampung can lepuk you if you are caught stealing your neighbour's jambu... and another set of whacking awaits when your parents pulak dapat tahu...

Monday, August 07, 2006

To be or not be: Monitoring Malaysian bloggers

Today's Tech & U (of New Straits Times) featured this:

No more freedom of speech?
Blog monitoring proposal gets mixed response
By Rozana Sani

THE Government's proposal to closely monitor Web sites and blogs that have published seditious content has received mixed response from the blogging community. ...

And there I was reading it with interest, and the first thought that comes to mind is:

"Ya ka nak monitor? Eleh, not gonna be that tough for the Gov lah. Malaysia Boleh ma, and it is a doable thing for now. Besides, there's not too many Malaysian blogs that discuss serious issues anyway. Most of them are online diary keepers with an uber-important mission to discuss their recent personal food intake and the corresponding amount of calories that subsequently needs burning...

Sample entry: Todays Kak Mah froms Acc Dept broughts us Kuih Kepah Bersepuh Madu. Its tastes like Kuih Sarang Semut, buts the design is pretty much marines. Thinks of ordering it for the coming Raya, but perhaps a bits too earlys for that. I wonders how much calories this small pieces has.."

On second thought:

"And there has been really educated people out there who thinks blogs are gospel truths - despite going through numerous lessons at good colleges, they still could not grasp the concept of critical reading. Hmm..."

Thirdy thought:

"Maybe tis those people that should be monitored closely! That's it! Those gobblogs* who got nothing to do but read-but-not-read, then biggle-boggle all the facts in their heads, then get together with the rest of the critical-reading handicaps, then gossip-gossip summore and voila! All the rumours about KJ and MK and CT and RMS becomes text book to them!"

Fourtho thought:

"Aye, I think the Gov should monitor those seditious content-infested blogs, plus (just as important) them gobblog readers as well! A blog, without it readers, would be just a bunch of words on the cyberspace. It is when readers respond to such blogs that the level of toxic increase. I bet if Adolf (Elizabeth) Hitler was talking to an empty hall the World War II might not have taken place. Hence for the safety of all Malaysians, I shall back the Gov should they ban both blogs with seditious content and its gobblog* readers! Hurrah!"

Final-ly barulah nak ter-thought:

"Hmm, when they say they want to monitor tu, monitor macam mana ek? Should they just hire one (hundred) Political Science major and ask him/her to type in key words all day and check all blogs that mention those key words? Or just have all the ministers' PA set up a google alert on their respective bosses to check if anyone's written anything bad about them each day?"

Hmm, whateverlah, asalkan negara aku selamat. Harap bloggers lain pun fikir la dulu tentang the well-being of your nation. Tak pasal-pasal nanti join club Bagdad Blogger baru nyesal!"

* Gobblog (gob'lok)
Part of speech: noun
1. One who keeps a blog and pretty much wrote lies on it hoping people would take it as gospel truth, then reads other people's blogs knowing the other bloggers would be as much as a liar as he/she is, then take it as gospel truth about them, then find other gobblogs (who also share their passion to count their calorie intake online and make it a literary suppliment to other unfortunate cyberspace stumblers) to conjure up gossip and malicious rumours to be spread around to other gobblogcos (blog term for loser).
2. One who is deficient in judgment, sense, or understanding
3. Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.
4. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
5. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless

ass, birdbrain*, blockhead*, bonehead*, boob*, bore, buffoon, butt, chump, clod*, clown, cretin*, dimwit*, dolt*, donkey, dope*, dork, dumb ox*, dunce, dunderhead*, dupe, easy mark*, fair game*, fall guy, fathead*, goat, gomeral, gomeril, goose*, halfwit, idiot, ignoramus, illiterate, imbecile, innocent, jackass, jerk*, lamebrain*, laughing stock, lightweight*, loon*, lunkhead, meathead, moron, nerd*, nincompoop*, ninny*, nitwit, numskull*, oaf, omadawn, ownshook, pushover, sap*, schlemiel*, silly, simpleton, stooge*, sucker*, turkey*, twerp*, twit*, victim

Friday, July 28, 2006

Who's having bad headache

I hate it when an introduction line comes at the last minute. Then I'll just start writing and can't seem to stop till I get that nice ending to complement that intro.

In the process I'll be hanging in front of the PC, getting headaches from staring at the monitor too long and my Princess-Leia-big earphones heats up real hot.

The bane of all writers - my news-writing workshop instructor even call it birth pangs. Yes, getting the introduction line all typed up is really hard to do.

I have to admit there are a number of assignments that are just so bland, so dead, so nothing that even me - the me who has been cheating my way into a career - just could not deliver.

Despite my unforgiveable personal low standard set on quality.

Despite my ego speaking out loud of plucking stories out of thin air.

Despite my hantam-sajalah mantra that has kept me going for eons.

But eventually everything gets written down - long or short, inspiring or demoralising - all comes to a full stop at the end.

Unless I terforgot to put the full stop and simply print then submit la. That one not really my fault one, tis only my kelemahan...

And suddenly I could not remember the lyrics of Lagu Tiga Kupang...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Back to work tips

If you have been on holiday for say a week or more, it'll be hard to leave that cozy pink bed and put on your working shoes. So here are some tips for a great start...

1] Pesan siang-siang to anyone of leisure to watch Drama Bersiri Latin: Belinda, Lo Que Callamos Las Mujeres or Drama Bersiri ASEAN: Malin Kundang for you - if not sesia je you kept on watching those damn soaps for the past five days!

2] Search all your jeans pockets for loose change - kumpul-kumpul banyak tu, can cover commuting fares and lunch money maa

3] Pick up the newspaper just a day before you come back for a chance to figure out esok sebona-bonae berapo haribulan...

4] Mentally, single out the stuff you wanna wear the next day (highly applicable if you have lots of ironing-free materials like I do)

5] Sleep in early or late (whichever gets you to wake up earlier the next morning) so that you have more time than usual to get ready for work at sloth pace - tis less shocking to the system, really

6] Buy a pack of M&Ms to bring back to the office - enjoy it with your colleagues as they feed you with the past week's official and unofficial recaps (your career might depend on this practice of feed-me-feed-you intelligence gathering)

7] Try to arrive a bit earlier than everyone else - enjoy the office at its (silent) best and get reacclimatized (totally optional tho, not applicable if you're still in sloth mode)

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The langsing-phone

I quite like the simple, SGH-D520, one of the latest handphones from Samsung - just look at these nice photos I captured using the "slim fit slide up" model...

^ Action shot: Look at this lovely group, Bob, Battrisya the niece flanked by her auntie Helen and next is her uncle Fari...

^ Posed look: The three guys - Lan (now father to three boys) who used to dance asli steps to the latest rock kapak songs, Bob (now fruitarian) who used to be the new-age guy (still is huh) and Fari (now almost Australian PR-holder but shall always be first Malaysian) who used to have bigger hair than this... Sorry didn't frame this nice pix nicely, I was just getting used to the phone then...

^ And here's the phone with Bob on display - tengok muncung dia - he was saying "No! No!" - not to the baby, but to me over my saying that this shot will end up in my blog somehow...

Monday, July 10, 2006

FIFA World Cup™ Final: Closing ceremony

As the 2006 Cup chase ends, let us sing a song to commemorate this vonderful ending... Tak sesia team ni jadi favourite gue since '96 lagi...

Yeahhh, let's sing-sing-song to the tune of Geylang Si Paku Geylang!

Geylang si paku geylang,
geylang si rama-rama
Pulang pergilah pulang,
Perancis-lah pulang balik ke Paris... ah
* Menang! Itali dah menang!
Itali-pun pulang bersama trofi...ek ah!

CAUTION: Repeat * as many times as you like, but blogger cannot be held responsible should you choose to sing loudly in front of:
1] German, Brazil and England supporters
2] sports desk reporters/journalists who earlier predicted that Italians will go back "to clean their scandal-ridden game" even before their clash with Germany took place
3] This particular telco's marketing people who came up with the so-de-very-tak-kena nationwide marketing campaign which tried to leverage on the World Cup hype but featured a number of people who weren't even playing in the FIFA World Cup™ Final instead - like my mate A says, they probably don't even know Giggs is Welsh

note: Photo of skipper Cannavaro above belongs to

Friday, July 07, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

And I will let go a chance to date the whole of the Italian football team for a dinner date on a Caribbean beach with Johnny Depp - my crush since the days Freddie first claimed Elm Street his, my love since Faizal Hussein began dating Nasha Aziz...

Of course my love did not disappoint me - he asked me out for breakfast instead. So there I was yesterday morning, 10.30AM sharp, nowhere special just Midvalley's GSC, inside Hall 10, dark and cold the silver screen spewing out beer ads.

And then he arrived, with a gunshot from a watery grave, from the sea onto his resurrected Black Pearl. He is, as he always is, his lovely self.

Not clean - personal hygine is a trifle matter, he says.

However, always in swagger and style.

Not sober - though he wondered why the rum's always gone, when he could not stand straight on his sea-legs he remembered where it all went.

Though savvy and articulate still.

Not afraid - send in an old enemy, a selfish seductress, a betrayed friend even a terror from the deep sea; there's a plan somewhere up his sleeve.

But inevitably and unfortunately, cursed.

And so will you be the moment you walk out of the cinema - you'll be doomed to suffer another year of agonizing wait...

Monday, July 03, 2006

Be nice, tis wise

Oscar Wilde, the author who calls Beauty a form of genius, said this:
"Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much."

I first saw this quote in NSTP some years ago, and today an email from an old friend came warning me thatI should keep my guards up against Fats. And the quote reverberates.

(Of course, the other quote that echos in my mind was something taken off an A. Samad Said play, which goes like this:

"Kau cantik Pinkie! Kau cantik!"
- Lantai T. Pinkie

It simply explains why pretty people like me usually have a lot to go through that some people will never get to experience - because you are pretty. Haiyo, susah lo jadi cantik. Hehehe!)

This part of the famous Rudyard Kipling poem also comes to mind:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise...
- If

Thanks for the warning bro, but I think I'll try slim down the Fats in my own way.

Kenapa ramai gal-gals minat England

Over lunch I heard some interesting theories on why most gals tend to support England, and not even a g-string-male-model drenched team such as Italy could come near:

Theory :
Cause they want to be in the "in crowd" and England is the so-called "in". (Likewise Brazil).

Theory :
Cause they've actually heard of EPL, but no way in hell could they ever guess who plays in Serie A or Bundesliga or even heard of MPPJ or MyTeam.

Theory :
Cause they can check out what the players' wives are wearing, and then tiru la. Hey, Posh isn't Posh for nothing, betul tak?

Theory :
Cause when someone asks who's their favorite player, they can always say the household name "Beckham!" with confidence, no one would dare call their bluff. And if there's a follow-up question, e.g.: Who else do you think plays well? They can say "Rooney!" (Though once I did overhear a gal said "Ronaldinho of course!"). Two players to memorise - good enough lo.

Theory :
Cause when they get together with their boyfriend's best friends' girlfriends and talk about the hipster Rooney's girlfriend was wearing was looking "off at the side", they can claim they're talking ball.

Theory :
Cause their boyfriends support England. (Likewise those whose boyfriends support Brazil)

Theory :
Cause when someone bitch about Beckham or Rooney, they can always say "But they've got a better-half who's tough to handle... Unlike me, me very supportive of my boipren one..." (Which is a real neat trick actually! You go girls!)

Friday, June 09, 2006

Wah... music everywhere..

Check this out man... (Thought my last post from this really expensive city should be memorable so...)

^ Come sing-sing-sing-a-long with this toilet bowl...

And these are for guys out there...

^ City girl - just one of them here, waiting for someone at the "loyal dog" statue. Yess.. kisah seekor anjing setia yang bernama Hatchinko.

^ Working city girls riding the Metro line... black seems to be the only corporate colour around here.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Outside the window on the 8th floor by...

... day!

^ These guys were cleaning up my bedroom window at 10+AM this morning, sporting enough to smile as I took time off to press the shutter. Behind them some kind of construction is going on, tis a good thing they showed up to beautify the scenery. Two of them here so one for Kak Mazni, one for Intan loh!

... night!

^ I wish the view outside my window is this nice, but no, I have to go to the lift area to get this nice city lights.. This one's for Tauke Ling who should be here to shop with me and bear the sakit kaki!

Anatawa is-so connected-to!

Getting Internet connection - at a place where you've never set foot before, a place where kind strangers can't really talk to you, a place where your 2G handphone can't roam, a place where you have no one to call a friend, a place where you feel sooooo seorang like that, plus the fact that you're there not for fun but work - is always an omen of a good start.

OK lah so I got Internet connection, what's so great about that huh. Try 30mbps zooming in the moment you plug in the RJ-45. Yeah baby yeah, that's what I'm talking about! The photo I posted here is a 2048 pixel thingy and guess how many seconds it took for me to upload it up to Blogger - 3 seconds (1 Mississippi...).

The bus was just turning to the place I wanted to arrive at, get some sleep.. and already got hal loh... Check my next photo, it is of a guy being stopped by a security officer - gosh hope he's not in trouble - or maybe he is being a nuisance so... but the reason i quickly snapped was out of admiration to the kawai-ne girl behind him, yep she's stickin with her man no matter what. Heehhee bet my photojournalism teacher might like my photo here...

^ Wonder what really happened up there - was about 9.30AM local time then. People in black suits (literally - I mean, everyone seems to be in black suits here) were just getting to work and these two youngsters are already in a situation. Hope tis nothing serious and we all can live happily ever after again. Wonder if you guys can see that the girl is actually looking dead straight at the camera.. Jangan marah beb! Wa tershutterfrenzied..

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Piece of news that makes go "Hmm.. egg or chicken?"

The thing about the egg or chicken dilemma, what ever the outcome maybe, it does not really affect anyone who happens to not have any problems with enjoying both forms.

Let's face it, eggs are eggs - despite being infamous for its high cholesterol content, we still love it cause tis really hard not to. And someone tend to mention something about being high in protein, which theoretically means, good loh!

Remember coming home from school one hot afternoon, when dead leaves give out a nice crushing sound when you step on it. 14, latch-key veteran, hungry. HUNGRY.

Need something delicious, hot, quick, easy - now.

Zombied into the lonely kitchen, glanced a bit at yesterday's gulai lemak and zoomed straight to the fridge. Opened the clasped door - felt a rush of cool air - smelt the whiff of raw veggies - and there it is - them eggs.

Sitting quietly on the top right corner - eggs. Shell intact, lovely brown hue - eggs. Breakable but in other ways tough.

Grabbed one - once sitting on palm, heard the devil said tis too small. Tried closing the fridge's door but it was too late - left hand had swiped another one and leg quickly put things to stop. Barely saw it move but suddenly the fridge's closed.

Then lightning fast - pan, stove, fire, broken shells - flipping motion - done.

And behold on the kitchen dining table - le kicap. The dark ink of slum origins that makes everything in the world all nice. With a number of black pearly drops and a little twist even the simple fried eggs seems gourmet.

Chicken it's a different matter.

Slaughter. De-bulu-ing. Cutting. Cleaning. Cooking. Ooh what hassle. Eat.

Another formula - drive to Jaya Jusco. Go to poultry section. Pick desired chicken part. Pay. Go back. Cook. Realised don't have enough ingredients. Upon the brink of giving up, decides to just fry them chicken. So fry. Eat.

Yet another formula - go to mamak stall. Sit. Order chicken. Eat. Get a shock upon paying. Realised actually in Mahboob hence the startling price.

In many ways I see eggs denoting simplicity, chicken complexity.

So when a piece of news hits and the first thing that crossed mind was, "Hmm, egg or chicken? Chicken or egg?", tend to get a gut feeling that says this is something that will never be solved, and even if it is, it doesn't really matter now, does it?

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Beautiful Beserah

Here's a luverly photo I took with my beloved Nokia 6600 of Beserah beach in Pahang, plus a couple more. Yes moi went on hol and came back happy... Yes this entry is a finally a happy one cause I'm in the process of letting go all of the bad vibes in the hen/duck coop...

^ The serene Beserah beach snapped at fast pace - since no one trust my driving I get to lepak in the car and go shutter crazy.

^ Nasi dagang found en-route to Chukai from Cherating.

^ Ah, Chukai's own Malayan Banking Berhad! What a wonderful sight when you're running out of cash!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Don't agree with me, but it's true that...

... the farmer of the coop is a weirdo who always goes missing till its an hour before the coop's closing time.

... the farmer of the coop thinks one's part time job should take more hours into one's real day job and that would not create trouble for the hens in the coop.

... the farmer is a nutjob who thinks everything can be turned into edible chicken poop in three tangy flavours.

... the farmer is so stupid thinking that the fact that most of the hens are keeping quiet in the coop because they truly do not have any more shit to deliver (when in truth, the hens are always a bunch of creative productive poultry).

... the farmer is so shallow and spineless that all the hens in the coop are now ducks. Yes ducks, ducks paddling in the water, ducks, that what the hens are all now.

Friday, March 31, 2006

M! The Ops!pera

Riding on the crowd's current flavour for theatre offerings (thanks to PGL hype) M! The Opera finally came to me last night.

First impression:
- "Wah seats baekk punya! Thanks a lot Abang Badak Biru Yang Tak Dapat Balik Kampung Raya Tahun Lalu!"

Second impression:
Eh, apesal lambat start nih?

Continuing on:
Hmm... chaosnye opening act dia... Vocals tenggelam dek orchestra la pulak... Nasib ade subtitles... Besides, the set looks Oscar-ly inspired glam!
- Oh M masa kecik-kecik dulu rupenye - ha ha ha... quite funny lah Azean!
- And that "pondan" character - hmm, familiar, oh yeah saw him in the same kebaya outfit in Ghazal Party Queen last year, ooh didn't know he/she could sing that well - voice control and projection baekk gitu!
- Why lah everyone keep measuring each other's breasts ni - kot iye pun tukang jahit takkan la tak amik ukuran kat tempat lain kot? Sukatila cik director and choreographer...

More acts down the road:
Hmm... best juga lagu "There is no time... There is no time..." layan.. layan... *eh interrupted* "Paula Malai Ali punya breasts pun kena ukur on stage juga!" says a friend.
- From another friend: "Perasan tak bila tengok lama-lama, texture muka Khir Rahman sama la dengan father dia A. Rahman Hassan!" Says I back to her: "Texture muka ye Intan?"
- And Khir's most memorable line tonight goes something like this: "Apesal nak stress? It's only a dress!"

- Ooh... ramenye kaum artists... Shuhaimi Bab the film director, Rafi the guitarist, tu sape ke tu - "Roy Azman la.." says my friend. And that deejay... And model Bernice Chan... And actress from Bolehwood... And the actor who played Rahim Razali's first son in Split Gravy on Rice...
- Eh eh big big boss aku pun ade? Takde lah tinggi sangat. Senyumlah, senyumlah ahai cek mek - Aiyoyo kadavoley he smiled back! Quick must transfer very important sub-conscious message to his brain wavelength now: ~Bagi~la~ bonus~... ~Bagi~la~bonus~...!
- A mate was asking, how come the girls are all singing soprano? My take on that: The men have to ultra-low and females ultra-high so that the pondan's vocal range can be slotted in the middle. Tis only fair. Ahhah...

After intermission:
- Aik dah ade yang dah balik? "Don't they want to know the ending?" asks my officemate. "Agaknye they could not connect with the opera kot?" says moi back.
- Eh dah start - ek awat jadi lagu nih? Sepi ni still the angel or already a devil? Didn't she had something going on with that pelat Kerabat just now?
- Wow, that has got to be M's second most memorable line tonight: He goes, "Kahwiiiin dengan akuuuu!"
- Ooo... camtu rupanye... ala.. habis camni je ke? Anti-climax la pulak...

After the show:
- The same officemate asks, "So how would you rate it?" Says I, "To me, my benchmark would be how much they managed to connect with the audience. Actually I'm kinda disappointed that Jit, S.Rastam, Jo & co didn't get under my skin this time.. Ops! But it's not fair to compare M! with their previous works, which are all of a different genre.."
- Oops terserempak - singer Shafinaz still remember her super juniors la.. suka la si Pipa dengan Intan tu!
- Teh tarik at Pelita anyone? Four takers - reminiscing the days of Split Gravy on Rice, Bolehwood and Gross Indecency: Three Trials of Oscar Wilde and Alang Rentak Seribu. Just when I thought one drama is enough for one night, another one kick-starts... Oops!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The desired effect brought on by nasi beringin

For those who know what nasi beringin is all about, you know this is true.

When you that lousy environment in the coop and you just want to zombie through the day, go as fast as you can to the little nasi beringin stall. Ask for the whole magical she-bang, that's what you need to do:

"Full, not half serving of that spell-bound rice you must start with."

"Ayam Goreng or Daging Rendang on the plate next (or both, see if you dare)."

"Side-sambal of tentacled seafood or cholesterol drained egg to complement the ensemble."

"And semi-fermented vegetable at default setting you'll always get."

"Lastly swear for that one time you must against all caffeine-infested antidote liquid - fend yourself against the temptation of Kopi "C" Ais and NesLo Ais from Yoges (don't trust the smile from the drinkmaker who sells Amway stuff on the sideline)."

Then eat... eeeeeeat! Eat and get zonked out.

And that you will succumb to right after you hear you tell your lunch mates "Naah, we don't have a fixed lunch time..."

Be zombie! Be merry!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Tribute to Pressure

Note to Ariel: Yah babes, I shoulda listened to you - must fly the coop before I go crazy. The subsods win again - fuck them all, fuck the nloody anal guy who protects them first instead of me. They're all wankers glazed with nutmeg and whipped cream plus a dash of chocolate sprinkles, all ready to be tied with barbwire then castrated inch by inch (as SC always suggests) then fed to the ants part by part and left for dead right in the middle of Saruman's monster-makin lab and right before they close their eyes and block their brains from thinking you quote that 3 year old kid you overheard at the party and say, "Babi gedik!"... Whoa, that feels good. The kid really knows his stuff.

On days you just want to tell everyone in the coop "Fuck you! And you! And you too!", sing along to this David Bowie & Queen song in your head:

Under Pressure
Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure - that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets

Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da - that's o.k.

It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher

Pressure on people - people on streets
Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba O.k.

Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours

Ee do ba be
Ee da ba ba ba
Um bo bo
Be lap
People on streets - ee da de da de
People on streets - ee da de da de da de da

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher high high

Pressure on people - people on streets
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why - why - why?

Love love love love love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night
And loves dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves

Under pressure
Under pressure

P/S: I hate bad days. The coop should really get me a shooting range plus some ammo to work with on days like this, cause I'm not about to be called unproductive. Let me at least shoot the idiots out of the picture.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Must see: The Producers

If you like comedy, music, stylized dancin' and you LOL-ing in the cinema, the film The Producers will make you do just that. I was lucky enough to get a seat in the press screening just this morning and I'm glad I got out of bed early.

Betul, sakit perut ketawa yang sangat tak tahan oohh... Coming to you this March 30th, 2006.
Photo courtesy of Yahoo!Movies and Universal Pictures

I bet if IB brings the play in, it'll cost you some RM100 just to get the way above seats at the upper circle! So since you can enjoy this gem at RM10...

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

A tiny moment of wallowing in self-pity

Today's NST (Pg 20) article titled "Ex-gratia for MAS staff" reports that as part of a strategy to boost morale, all MAS staff will receive RM1,000 each later this month. This move will cost the company RM21-freakin-million.

That's three times the amount this coop needs to give all of its hens one month bonus, moreover the coop just reported some 40+% increase in profit tu! Comparatively MAS has a loss of a whopping RM1.3-freakin-freakin-billion last year alone!

Mak ai! Apekah maa'na nya semua ini? I don't know what makes sense anymore!

Do I need to distract myself with news on Mawi's appoinment as KL Tower ambassador or Siti's alleged affair with Datuk K being disahkan?

Frustrated, I am. Shan't be able to stop myself from turning to the dark side! (Turning right now...)

O Darth Maul, o sith with red and black melon colour-scheme head....
Rise thou from ashes...
And grant me apprenticeship...!

Can call me Darth Makan oso! (Pun not intended!)

p/s: Can someone remember the lyrics of Sudirman's Merisik Khabar? Need to sing that now since can't get the PGLM tune that goes "Melaka... Oh Melaka..." tune outta my head!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

PGLM extended - I knew it!

Except that I still don't know if I'll get tickets - the IB line has been busy since I started calling this morning...

The only thing I can do right now is be a Malaysian - If got, got lah. If no got, no got lah.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Valentine oh Valentine

Yesterday I saje-saje caught a photo of my friend, who was mengelamun again as usual (she really digs mengelamuning for some odd reason and even tell people ahead if she's about to lapse into a session so that we won't bother her till she's done - beat that!).

As advised via the speaker on Mobile Film Clinic (hosted by Nokia and Discovery Networks Asia), I placed my friend slightly off-centre on the "right thirds of the grid" plus gave her some "looking room" - that achieved, and I managed to capture a couple in action as well:

^ My mengelamuning friend is not the guy who has that nicely rounded, balding head nor the siamese twin joined at the crotch.

Sigh, they've prolly caught the Valentine's bug. Looks like Asians on the street have truly embraced that popular TV culture, public show of affection and such... Funnylah, when we don ketayap, light pelitas and ask for money in red packets we call it staying true to our Oriental culture, but is that the extent of it?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Wedding in the digital era

I recently attended a friend's wedding, and look how high-tech we've all become...

^ Nak pergi Teluk Intan je, tapi siap guna GPS module tuh...

^ Video/photographers with manual SLRs still stand out but me from my seat can catch some cool shots too with my trusty ol' cameraphone..

Monday, February 06, 2006

Message in the ang pows

The Dog Year, from what I've gathered from conversations here and there, is a year that requires one to work harder. True enough - when I didn't work hard collecting ang pow from my favourite Oriental uncles, I was rewarded with a measly RM10 of total collection.

RM10! That's 50% decline from my previous year's achievement!

If red packets be considered as a sign of times to come, I'll say we're heading for a rough year ahead. With oil prices expected to reach the three figure per barrel and the government's subtle hints that they can no longer increase subsidies... go figure.

A friend emphasized, "I even got a packet that has RM4 in it, can you believe it?! It's like saying death is a better option than the future that lies ahead! Siau hoh!"

Luckily being a Malay, RM4 doesn't carry a bad omen for me. In fact the number is actually, sincerely and mathematically 50% better than the RM2 I got from the nice biscuit lady at the Gunung Rapat market (not that I'm ungrateful, just being analytical here).

Hence generously I offered, "Hey if you don't want it, I can take care of it for you..." She didn't surrender that particular ang pow she was talking about, though, but at least I tried.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Tale of two batangs

My friend, A, never knew that there was a place called Batang Berjuntai throughout her 20+years existence. Having lived and studied in the East Coast throughout her younger days, it was only on the day she followed her aunt to Kedah that she found the signboard.

On the other hand, I, never knew that there's a village called Batang Bergedik throughout my 20+years of happy-sad-happy-happy life. Having read newspapers only when I have the time, it was only today when I read the New Straits Time ("'Acid man' finds true love again' pg 15 col 1) that I found out tat in Tanah Merah there is such a place.

Booker... Blooker...

Just when you thought you're bloggin' for nothin', someone comes up a great idea to keep you going. For the unitiated bloggers out there, be in the know that if book authors look forward to getting Bookers, bloggers can now look forward to getting Blookers.

As reported by BBC UK, the best books based on blogs are to be recognised in their own literary prize - the Blooker Prize. Shortlisted works will be released in March while winners will be announced on 3 April 2006.

Back in 2003 I started a blog with some friends and we weaved our real-life incidents, real-life communication, real-life affairs even to make our so-called chic-lit more relevant to the real people out there.

However, some people perasan pulak with what we wrote, thinking it was some kind of direct insult to them without knowing that we've spiced it up, makin it to more ficticious than anything else - bodoh betul.

Anyway... too bad lah they didn't take up English 111 seriously (like, hello, critical reading!). But we didn't wanna jinx the blook (blog-based book), we halted the project...

But we're working on something much more fun soon after we killed the real-life-to-fiction blook. It has something to do with food - now if any calorie counting person out there gets offended and think it's our ploy to attack anyone over, under or just the right weight we're not gonna layan lah this time...

... cause we want our Blooker lah!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Sing, sing, song

Thanks to whoever was previously using the Fifth Generation iPod 60GB unit I am currently reviewing, I am now hooked to this yesteryear hit, Beautiful Ones by Suede. Had you been a teen in the late 90s, Suede will be a really familiar name, alongside Weezer, Oasis and the likes...

Beautiful Ones
(Coming Up)

high on diesel and gasoline
psycho for drum machine
shaking their bits to the hits

drag acts, drug acts, suicides
in your dad's suits you hide
staining his name again

cracked up, stacked up, 22
psycho for sex and glue
lost it to Bostik, yeah

shaved heads, rave heads, on the pill
got too much time to kill
get into bands and gangs

oh, here they come, the beautiful ones, the beautiful ones

loved up, doved up, hung around
stoned in a lonely town
shaking their meat to the beat

high on diesel and gasoline
psycho for drum machine
shaking their bits to the hits

oh, here they come, the beautiful ones, the beautiful ones

you don't think about it,
you don't do without it,
because you're beautiful,
and if your baby's going crazy
that's how you made me,
la, la, la, la...

photo borrowed from, lyrics from - thanks!