Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Needed: Magic chants to make you forget painful memories

Here's the story. A girl goes out with another girl - you know, just chillin' out. The other girl met up with her boyfriend. The boyfriend brought a friend.

They all had teh tarik and chatted. Then one of the guys said he wanted to change clothes at the hotel room he's staying in, and invited the whole bunch to lepak there while he change.

Doesn't seem anything's amiss right up to this point, right? But whaddaya know, it turned out that the boyfriend and the girlfriend was in a plot to supply a girl to a customer - the so called friend of the boyfriend.

And so the girl, who thought she's on an innocent, simple outing with another girl and her set of friends, was raped. Whacked until she passed out, and woke up with blood coming out of her you know what and cuts and bruises all over.

The girl got scared and overwhelmed with shame. Didn't dare to see the Doc, didn't wanna go to the police, couldn't bear to tell her parents, too paranoid to confide with friends.

So she went through it alone. Mended herself with meagre supply of medicine, pretended in front of the people she knew that everything was OK. At night or when alone in the bathroom, she cried. When she can't weep, she ate, and ate, and ate.

Later she realized that there were risks - internal injuries, pregnancy, and worst, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). So she went to see a doctor and had gotten herself checked regularly eversince.

Now two years had passed, she's got a good career going, shed off some of the weight she gained from stuffing herself during those times of depression. Seems like she'd pulled herself together and moved on, but not fully so.

More than a couple of guys vying for her attention and TLC. But she could not accept their offer of love and commitment. She said cause she's no longer a virgin, she's not good enough for anyone.

No hymen, no self-respect, no-self-esteem, no self-confidence, no love for oneself.

The evil creature who did this to her should be apprehended and punished. Cut his dick inch by inch, day by day, smother it with honey and leave him for ants to feed on. As for her mamasan friend and the boyfriend who served as accomplice, I think they deserved to be skinned alive... slowly.

This girl asked me which guy would want her now. She's convinced the guys who are trying to mengorat her will run away if she tells the truth.

But it wasn't her fault, I said. I wanted to say more, maybe some magical chant that would make her feel better. Painfulous memorious disappearious!

I wanted to tell her - surely there's a guy out there who'd accept her for who she is, despite her past - but I am not sure if this is true.

Tell me, what can I say to her?

Monday, December 22, 2003

Lord of the Rings Marathon Screening... Encore! Encore!

And finally the day came - it was December 19, 2003. Friday. The day. The day of the Lord of the Rings Marathon Screening. I had high expectations on this particular event and guess what - it went better!

And there's me. And Tini, and Jen, and Sue. Us. Us plus three cinema hall's worth of other people. People armed with the marathon screening tickets. Tickets and pajamas. Pajama-wearing people who queued and hung out right on the floor of Sunway Pyramid's TGV lobby from 7.45PM till the screening starts at 11PM.

We wanted the goodie bag badly. We thought we were the crazy ones for arriving at SP's TGV right before 8PM, but a threesome - a couple of guys and a gal already in their pajamas - beat us to it. They were crazier than us, but we were more prepared. We got pillows. And Tini brought her comforter, and Sue got her midnight kimono. Huh!

We decided to forgo the comfort of a restaurant seats and tables and tapaued our dinner instead. We made a pit stop at Giant to buy some more ammo (i.e. food). But I could not find caffein! I know I gotta have Nescafe if I were to survive the 11-hour gawk at the crisis in Middle Earth.

Thank God there was a gal promoting the new Nescafe variation - I downed two cups and hoped for the best. By the time we got back to TGV, there were already more than 10 people in the queue - many in their pajamas, some even brought board game to play while waiting - admirable, really.

We berthed near a bunch of Chinese boys and gals, who turned out to be very very sporting LOTRiens. No hunks so far.

Tini and Sue talked me into changing into Tet's green pajamas - both pieces, I mean. I thought I'd settle with just wearing the top. It's really hideous. But since the guy with the mic - the so-called MC - was blaring about showing up in your night attire crap again and again, I decided, what the heck - it is SP, so I don't think I'd meet anyone I know.

So there I was in the ugly borrowed pajama when Bob my rockstar friend tap me on the shoulder and asked, "Ergh, is there a pajama party going on here?"

I screamed! Quite loud. I could not believe someone I know caught me - me in my ugliest greeniest persona. But there he was and I was saved from further embarassment when the goodie bags were finally being given away.

I got mine, Sue got hers. Jen was late so we couldn't take it for her. But Tini - man oh man, they said her attire didn't fit their bill - so I gave her the nice big poster I got, and Sue gave her a bunch more from her lot. I would have given both Tini and Jen more had I not promised my sis I'd give her the whole bunch.

Minor setback, but we toss the incident away and charged into the hall. We were in Hall 2, and so was Bob. Jen's seat was right next to this 3R personality - at first I didn't recognize who this celebrity-person was (I mean I know she's a face from TV but didn't really know who).

So when this person was giving her token I'm-a-friendly-celebrity-you-know smile to all around her, I was wondering why was she so perasan one? Rilek aa akak..

But then we got talking. It turned out that she was quite nice, and she even gave us some tips about the Chevenning Scholarship Program (apparently she's been summoned for an interview, hence probably there goes our chance at it). Still, she became the girl next door when Tini asked about Nicholas Saputra, the Indonesian hunk whom this celebrity had had the chance to work with via a Siti Nurhaliza video clip.

While we talked I got myself ready:
pee: check!
food: check!
drink: alamak not enough, but then Sue offered some of her supplies. So check!
socks: check!
pillow: check!
the gang: check!
neck-craning skills: check! (yup, a tall guy had to sit right in front of me.)

Five minutes after 11PM, the first chapter commenced and the crowd inside flipped on their seats. Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended version) ran on for about 3 hours and 30 minutes, and I marked one particular scene (in the mines of Moria) which Gollum was exposed to the audience as well as Frodo which I consider should have been in the initial version. I managed to keep my eyes open and enjoyed the films plus the additions with only 5% attention deficit.

When it ended, the hall was filled with hoots and applause. Quite a sporting lot we were with. And have to say the rest of the additional scenes were definately instrumental. Cool!

Tini, Jen and I rushed to the Starbucks cafe downstairs to redeem some of the vouchers given by Starbucks. I tried to get as much caffeine as possible. Told Tini to nudge me if she sees me crumble in my seat. Just a couple of hunks spotted at the Starbucks cafe. Well, better than nothing.

The next installation commenced at about 3AM. Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers Extended Version was even longer than Fellowship of the Ring, running for about 3 hours and 44 minutes. I almost dozed off a couple of times, but managed to stay awake - and I didn't miss that cool stunt from Legolas - you know that trick with the horse en route to Helm's Deep as well as that slade ride down the stairs while killing the Uruk Hais during the battle at the end of the chapter.

Major cool, major long, yet I'm still hoping there's more. Probably because I only read the first and the third book which I bought at the second hand store, hence it was tougher to piece together.

During the second break I stole 40 winks - obviously not enough, duh.. but it was all I can afford. And my bladder wasn't in its best behaviour either.

The second break was a bit longer than the rest. Grapevine within Hall 2 said the TGV fella on duty fell asleep, hence we didn't get to see the final chapter till it was about 7.35AM.

During Lord of the Rings - Return of the King, I had to take a couple of pee breaks - shoot! Well, I am planning to watch the film again so I succumbed to my bladder's demand and missed the death scene of Gondor's Keeper's second man.

When the third film ended, many clapped their hands and celebrate for completing the marathon screening. I was dead tired, very sleepy but if TGV had scheduled for an encore, I'd stay rooted to my seat. But the TGV fellas were already handing out T-shirts and congratulatory certificates. And Bob was telling us to tell others who had not watched the movie that Frodo died in the end.

So we had to go. It was over. I could not believe it - though I was complaining about being very very sleepy and all, when it finally ended I just could not get enough of it.

The Lord of the Rings Marathon Screening is definately one of the most memorable cinema experience for me. And I wanna do it again!

Thursday, December 11, 2003

When the singles got into a car...

... they sing to New Kids on the Block!

Can you believe it? Anim still keeps her New Kids on the Block cassettes. We also found the Vanilla Ice and some other stuff released in the 1990s - all kept in a clean shoe box, looking like they were just a couple of years old instead of more than ten!

Somehow the 1990s was quite vague for me, save for a few memorable occasions like when my Tingkatan 3 Bunga Raya class got crazy playing the game Murderer (1993) or that time right after SPM when that cute pan-asian kid who was a year younger than me thought I'm the coolest sales assistant to date (t'was end of 1995, right after my first paycheck and I invested it on my first ever pair of contact lenses - the transformation must have been quite ekhem, significant) and oh yeah, my eldest bro got married in the same year and we had a good experience handling the kenduri.

But I remember NKOTB. Danny, Donnie, Joey, Jordan, Jonathan. Hangin' Tough. Tonight. Be My Valentine Girl. Blow Your Mind (Didn't I).

And see the girls with the curls in their hair-ee-air. They simply went crazy over these guys. The media said they were the biggest thing since Beetles and Michael Jackson - guess the benchmark is if a girl faints or get trampled and squeeze during the concert, the artiste is definately big - and NKOTB had that.

I wasn't much of an NKOTB fan - but I did buy one of their albums - Step By Step - I had to part with a big chunk of my saved pocket money. It was my first time buying a cassette - yeah, twelve years old me finally started her own collection.

I bought it not only cause I too thought they were cool and cute and sing nice songs, it also so that I wouldn't look odd. I mean, all my friends have NKOTB stuff - their album, their poster, their VHS music video, their stickers, their badges (man, oh man, why was I born during the badge era) a little diary with their photos splattered across each page, file folder, pen, mug, frame, whatever.

Shallow me never thought that my friends didn't mind that I don't have these stuff, they'd still be my friend. Shallow me never thought that I could have saved the money I spent on that cassette, invest it in my ASB and enjoy the dividends which would have multiplied my total savings by now (alright, maybe not that much, but that's not the point - kan sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit?.

But seeing Anim's NKOTB cassette nicely kept in her shoe box along with the rest of the 1990s collection does makes me feel that perhaps it was worth it. After all, it was an icon we all could relate to. We (my mates and I), were the teens of the 90s in the first place and that cassette - my Step By Step or Anim's Best Hits - is a symbol that we were there during the 1990s, when NKOTB was big and we enjoyed it.

I had lots of fun during that trip (we were actually on our way to our collegemate Brader aka Dzulkaedah's wedding in Rembau). The NKOTB song definately set the mood - we became young, once again, and we were still hangin' tough.

P/S: When I say we were hangin tough, I meant it figuratively and literally - not that Anim's a bad driver but she was very, very fast. I thought I was simply phobic cause of that stupid incident right before Raya, but as when we got onto the Rambau roads which was all skewy and curvy Anim's high speed pace sent Jenny B to scramble around for her seat belts as well. But we all finished the ride to Rembau and back to KL safely, and Anim was nice enough to let us come Raya at her home in Kajang. Hidup Anim!

Monday, December 01, 2003

"This is my card.."

So how did your Raya go? Mine was OK, despite a couple of hiccups.

The first was having a stupid encounter with a student (whose attitude was of high anal proportions). She, in her new Kancil ran over a stop sign as if the road belongs to her policeman father (yep, she bragged over the fact that her Pa's a police). Having to deal with that bodoh sombong I'm-a-university-student girl was quite tiring, especially when her stupidity, plus of her mother's too, were simply beyond comprehension. Utterly stupid and rude they were, despite her being on the wrong side.

The second hiccup happened in quite a subtle manner - you know, the kind of thing that happens to you slowly, little by little, leaving you all spent and in horrific mood by the end of the day and you never knew what hit you.

It was the fourth day of Raya when my friend Azlina decided to call a reunion for the RPS (my alma m) gang. I arrived quite early with Ely - only Yati Maarof (Yati M), Umi and a few more had arrived before us.

Soon the house started to crowd - more RPSian came and hollars of "Oh gosh, you're so different now!" stung our ears. Different they say I am, well, I never looked good in school - big spectacles, nonexistent-haircut, school shoes I never properly scrub and all. So I take it that now I to them am pretty, polished and cool - things are looking up I say, or so I thought.

Not long after everyone's gotten their share of nasi himpit and meehoon goreng, Yati M started to clear her throat and said, "Hey y'all, I'm getting married on Dec 21st, so here's my card, you all better come ya!"

Then Yati B (B for Badri) began to clear her throat and said, "Well actually girls, I'm getting married soon too, and here's my card. Datang jangan tak datang, datang jangan tak datang.." What? This skinny gal is getting married too?

Just when everyone's still going "Goodness! our two Yatis are getting married!", Zura started that clear-my-throat-then announce-I'm-getting-married-soon routine too! Zura - what, this shy girl too!

Too much, I tell you! Too much! But just as I thought that three invitation cards in my hand is already heavy enough, a phone call came - it was Zarina, who could not make it, but told Azlina to invite girls to her wedding that is happening right before Yati M's.

She even insisted that it is OK to call her on that day itself to ask for directions to her house, since she may have missed a few names on her invitation list. "Atas pelamin pun aku akan jawab call korang OK!" she gushed out, sincerely apologetic for not being able to send a card to every single one of us.

Four invitations and a threat note from Yati M was simply too much to bear! (The threat note was whispered in our ears as she salam us before she went back, saying "Kalau kau tak datang majlis aku, sepuluh hari sepuluh malam aku mengumpat kau ye..." And so sweetly it was said, but after all cyanide is always laced in confectionary.)

I felt that I had to make an escape too! Thank God Ely was feeling the same, but before we got into her car, a bunch more RPSian arrived. As we salam more announced that they are (one of the stated below):
1) going to get engaged soon
2) engaged and getting married next year
3) orang dah hantar tanda, gonna get engaged next year
4) just a couple of days ago his mother came to merisik

Isn't that great? Sure it is! For them! For me it's worst than nightmare! Ely and I dashed away from the scene, chugging the invitation cards onto the back seat, puffing for air.

We both could not get over the fact that one small reunion like that could end so horrendously! And I haven't even told you guys about Emilia, Siti F and Noni who just gave birth, Iliyati and Sunarti who are both pregnant and some others who are already onto their second, third and fourth pregnancies!

That night Ely and I lepak for a bit and could not help but muse over the whole thing. When we got to the part about us still being single, boyfriendless and simply not interested just yet to get ourselves hooked, we bravely talked about holiday plans and new hobbies and investment opportunities and career directions and furthering studies.

The question is, after all that talk, how come we don't feel better?

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

About babies and pretty boys

A baby is cute. A pretty boy is, well, pretty. Maybe I should say pretty boys are cute too. But not like baby's cute. Grown-up cute. Baby-face grown-up cute. Aiyo, I don't even know where this entry is heading. All I know that recently a few happenings got me thinking a little weirdly.

Our friend Farah gave birth to a baby boy a couple of days ago. Right before Sue called me up to ask if I wanna join her and Tini go see Farah after work, an SMS came from an old school friend of mine, Ely, saying that a friend of ours, Emylia had given birth at 7.50AM that morning.

Wow, two birth news in one day! Two 25-year olds became mom on that one day! I was happy for them. I'd love to go visit them, but schedule and location did not permit. And anyway, I think I'd be too scared to hold a baby - even with my own nephews I was awkward.

But the news itself was even scarier. It sort of feels as if I'm waayyy behind these people.

When your friends have a boyfriend each (one-to-one) and you don't, you're sort of one step behind.
When your friends have several boyfriends each (one-to-many) and you don't even have one, you're sort of two steps behind.
When your friends are engaged (ideally to one man at a time) and you aren't, you're sort of three steps behind.
When they get married.... you're four steps behind..
When they give birth.... you're five steps behind...

You dig what I'm getting at? Sound silly kan, but I guess even I - a person I consider quite modern girl with a few stripes of conventionality - succumbed to such shallow, kiasu, demotivating thoughts. And I thought the pressure of getting an MA cause the rest of your batch are at it was bad enough.

The pressure of being single gets heavier with age. Being 25 and single ain't so bad and neither does 26, 27 or 28. At 29 and 30 I supposed there'd be more to fend off then - but I'm not there yet so I don't know for sure.

Solution: get yourself hooked and be done with it. Yeah, sure, as if it's that simple. Surprisingly, to some people it is that simple. That's why there are matchmakers among us - most of them do think it is that simple.

Know what happened last Saturday? I went to join some MCCians for buka puasa at Natrabu, KL Sentral. The crowd mainly consisted of Fall 95 girls, specifically the ones who dwelled in Block F during their stay in Kuantan.

(At first I didn't want to go cause I don't want to risk running into the anal ladies - shortie and skinny. But Zura told me the two of them weren't part of the in-crowd so I, termakan pujuk dengan all the emails and SMSes Zura sent, went with Az.)

When Az and I arrived it was quite early - it took only 15 minutes to get to Sentral from my house. We took the seats next to Masri, Zura's BF, and right opposite us was Kak Cher and Kak Idora. While the nasyid band Hijjaz and their fans had their suai-kenal session under the canopy next to ours, we chatted as we wait for the rest of the gang to arrive.

It was nearing break fast time when we all decided to become scavengers. Natrabu's main offering was a mouth-watering combo of mainly hot dishes of chicken, red meat, fish and seafood. Veggies are aplenty too, and there were several assortments of kerabu.

I came back with my plate filled, only to have Zura and the girls pleading for me and Az to move a seat away from Masri. Not cause Zura's getting jealous -their friend - not an MCCian - is coming and he asked for a sit next to Masri. The other guys who weren't MCCian didn't have such coy requests.

I was thinking lain kali, Pak Haji kena datang awal... Remember the government ad about paying your taxes early?

Az and I grudgingly moved a seat away. I threatened them saying he'd better be damn cute or I'm taking my seat back.

Later Kak Cher came back with too many kuehs on her plate so I asked her why take so many? She said it's for my future boyfriend as well, and set the plate in the middle. Please. Az said she thinks the gang is trying to matchmake me with him. Please again.

Come on, right, even if I fell in love with the guy at first sight, what's the probability that there'd be a congruent effect on his side? Slim chances, right? After all there were so many cute ladies there.

Then the person came. Putih melepak, specky, hair short on the nerdy side but overall not too bad looking. And his name happens to be a favourite name of mine - let it be "M" for this blog. I found out more about him based on the attendence sheet Zura was distributing, rather than through the conversations I had with him.

(Yes, Zura passed an attendence sheet to collect our name, email, address and phone number under the pretext that the details are needed cause she and Masri are getting married in December, but they have not decided on the year yet. FYI Zura later emailed the copy of the attendence sheet to all of us who came. Talk about new-age match-maker.)

Like I said, we got talking a bit but he didn't show much personality - you know, that one question - one answer deal. Later Az told me she thought she saw Kak Ila (who earlier said that her BF is in Australia) and the putih melepak guy talking and Kak Ila has her hands all over his knees. I thought so the guy must appear to be quite attractive after all cause a cute thing like Kak Ila showed interest.

On top of that, after a few more of one Q one A between me and him, I found out that he's an engineer working at Petronas. And from Zura I learnt that he drives a smick Peugeot. Altogether, he's a package any Mak Datin would've want for her daughter.

Something must be wrong with me cause all I see is a clean cut asrama boy who used to attend some elite school somewhere who then went to the UK or the States then came back to get on the typical climbing my way up the corporate ladder routine, just like the rest of his school chums.

Isn't it totally dispeakable of me to have him all figured out like that when I don't really know the guy? Well, that's what people call judgement and first impression. And yeah, I am that bad...

Later when break fast was done and Hijjaz had started singing, Az and I decided to meet a friend at the place where my sis's band was playing - at a club. So when Zura asked where I'm going next, I told her I'm going to watch a live band play and being Malay I asked her and Masri to join me (though it feels quite awkward asking nice gals like Zura go clubbing during Ramadhan - tak kena tema gitu).

Zura said she's interested and insisted that I ask that putih melepak guy to come along. I didn't really want to, but before I can think of a suitable escape Zura had already shoved me towards his direction.

I quickly asked him and didn't even bother to wait for an answer. I was too embarassed for having to be shoved by Zura - it feels like a kid who did not want to salam the makcik then forced to do it!

We split - me and Az to Az's car, Masri, Zura and Kak Mazni to Zura's car and the putih melepak guyto his Peugeot. Az said how come I didn't properly asked the guy to join us at Juanita? Aha, the matchmaker's accomplice. I told Az I didn't wanna sound desperate! Duh!

Why do these people think things like this are that simple? As in STEP (1) boy meets girl, STEP (2) boy and girl fall in love. There's a lot going on between STEP (1) and Step (2) you know. My judgmental approach itself is already a big problem.

Later over conversations with Zura on email I found out that the guy and Kak Ila used to be quite close, but the guy rejected Kak Ila three times for a more serious relationship. Smart Kak Ila moved on and got herself a new boyfriend (good for her!) and by that time the guy finally realized he does like Kak Ila a lot more than he thought. So melepaslah!.

It didn't make much sense to me - what made him rejected her in the first place? The no-chemistry, not-on-the-same-wavelength thing? My sneaky mind can't help but suspect that the guy may thought he's too cute for her, maybe he thought a guy as good-looking as him can get someone cuter.

Gosh, I'm being bad again. But it's only cause I know another pretty boy who does think that way, that's why I suspected so.

All in all, I rather face a cute baby than be shoved towards a pretty boy. True, both of them make me feel awkward, but least babies does not make me judgmental. Am I blaming them pretty boys? Uh, ah, well, yeah! Hahahaha..!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Jenny B left in a hurry

Last night the bird (a street dove who had came to crash at our window sill since the late afternoon due to the heavy rain), my housemate Lela and I was watching GTO (again) when Jennifer (Jenny B) stormed back into the house. Right behind her was her two sisters - they just arrived from KK. It was the night they head for UK.

The smell of durian immediately followed. Apparently the visiting sisters saw the stall which sold durian near our place and had given Jenny B some reminders on how expensive the fruit is back home (KK). Jenny B took the hint and bought them some at a very cheap price.

While the sisters and the rest of the house ate, Jenny B struggled to get ready in her room. They had arranged for a cab to come at midnight so that they can take their time at KLIA, book for window seats and do a little last minute shopping.

Jenny B is not the type that packs ahead. So she must have slimmed down a couple of kgs just running around the house, picking up clothes and what nots and shoving them into her RM200 bagpack.

"OK dah siap!" she announced proudly just as the clock reached 12AM. Her sisters washed up even though there were still a couple of unbroken durians tergolek-golek on the living room carpet.

Then the call came. It was the taxi company letting them know that there's one waiting for them downstairs. Three sisters hurriedly slug the backpacks and asked whether the force of durian is strongly with them, to which my accomodating housemate and I replied "Not really bah."

And they scrammed to the door. I told Jenny B to say hi and Selamat Hari Raya to Faizal, Grik and Liza, then told her to just go and don't worry about locking the door. She said she will and off she went.

You guys know that there's a long corridor that we have to walk through to get to the elevator from the house right. Now imagine Jenny B - a heavy bagpack on her shoulder and another slimpack across her neck, hair still damp and unruly from the shower and shoes that could have covered her feet if only she tried - running across the corridor as fast as she can to catch up with her sisters who had gone past the door to the lift. Quite a comical sight, actually.

And I was enjoying this view till I started to lock the door and turned back towards the living room. The next view my short-sighted eyes caught was a horrific one: the paperbag that contained Liza's kueh raya is still standing in attention right between the Korg and the Stradivarius (copy). Jenny B had forgotten to take the parcel!

The next few seconds happened in a blur. I remembered asking Lela to quickly pass me the bag and me calling Jenny B's name and putting on someone's pink flowery slippers; and somehow Jenny B heard me and returned to the corridor. Then, ala Hindi film cross with Matrix: Revolution, we both ran to meet in the middle of the corridor and the bag exchanged hands.

And then she was gone.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Here we go again!

My ears were plugged to Tere's "Awal Yang Indah" - trying to drown the loud conversation between an a*****e colleague of mine with his wife on the phone as if the whole office needs to know that he will not be joining his wife for buka puasa as he's got an assignment and a break fast event sponsored by Bo PR this eve - when another colleague of mine suddenly showed up next to me with a card in his hand.

His name is Kumar, and all these while I thought he's married as I never saw him trying to mengorat the many single Indian ladies in my office (there's three, including the two I blogged about earlier, and no I didn't attend the matchmaking BBQ they held recently). Basically he's a nice guy, polite and hardworking. He and a few other colleagues took me out to lunch on my first working day in this company.

And the card. I thought it was a Selamat Hari Raya card. After all, I am already depressed for there's no Raya ads yet on TV, so when I saw the white envelope it naturally made me hope for a hardcopy Raya card.

But it wasn't a Raya card. By now you might have guessed already - yup, it's a wedding invitation.

On the envelope it says "[insert Tamil characters equivalent here]Wedding Invitation Sunday 14th December 2003", and on the next line my colleague's name was in nice prints, next to his beloved wife-to-be's.

Then there's a "To:" line next, and my name was there, scribbled not so neatly but with feeling of gladness (or it could be just my imagination), plus a "Ms" title to accompany. (Reminded me of my lousy "Miss" joke this one does.)

I congratulated Kumar and he made sure I know where Bangsar Sports Complex is cause that's where it is going to be held. I told him I will look forward to attending his wedding, as I have not had the opportunity to witness an Indian wedding for a long time.

I opened his card, and within it I found a leaflet inside filled with Tamil writings. Near panic, I flip the leaflet down, and finally found some characters I recognised.

On one page it says:

Saptapadi (The Seven Steps)

Saptapadi is the most important ritual of the wedding ceremony. The bride and the groom take seven steps around the sacred fire to start their new life together. They make the following seven promises to each other:

"With God as our guide, let us take
The first step to nourish each other
The second step to grow together in strength
The third step to preserve our wealth
The fourth step to share our joys and sorrows
The fifth step to care for our children
The sixth step to be together forever
The seventh step to remain lifelong friends."

The two souls are now united, and the bride and groom vow to start their life together as husband and wife. The groom places silver rings on the bride's toes, signifying she is now married.

Ain't that sweet. I think the seventh step is especially thoughtful.

And with this invitation, I'm looking forward to getting a few more of such cards. In fact a few days ago a college/U-mate had already posted his wedding invitation on the coursemates e-group. Aptly titled too (Pelamin anganku menjadi, how original).

And a couple of my girl friends are getting married as well. And that Kamal, cousin of mine whom I blogged about earlier too.

Everyone seems to think that 25 is a good age to get married, is it? And why must the bulk of them choose to do it during the school holidays? Perhaps so that they'll get their cousins and nephews and nieces to help with cleaning the house, replenishing food for the guests and passing the bunga telur and washing the high heap of dishes at the back of the house at the end of the day?

Whatever the reason might be, looks like I will have a revisit of that headache over what gift is a good gift for the bride and groom. Perhaps I can get several units of the same item and get a discount for making it a bulk purchase...

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Miss Missed-The-Boat

Ever wonder why a lady who is not married is called a "Miss"?
That's because she "missed the boat"!

p/s: Ugh, what a stupid joke, but I pieced this one together after listening to yet another talk about how I must get myself a boyfriend before I end up a spinster, hence "missing the boat"... Anyway I'm not sure what to do with this joke, cause I find it quite offending myself, considering that I am single and all this while thought it's cool to be a "Miss". Well, I do mean "Miss" rather than "Missed", you know, so by right it should not be offending. I don't know... Anyway anyway, it is not often I get to think of a joke all by myself, so this is an auspicious occasion, thought I should document it here. So.

Friday, October 31, 2003

And the fifth Prime Minister of Malaysia commenced service

As this blog I write, the rakyat in my office is standing still in front of our 22 years old television set - the only one we have - watching the handing over of the prime-minister-ship duties ceremony.

Today Malaysia bid goodbye to the man who brought Vision 2020 and a kaleidoscop of success to the country, Dato Seri Dr Mahathir Mohamed. The man filling in his shoes, Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi signed the letter of oath - pledging his secrecy and loyalty to the royalty and rakyat - a few minutes earlier.

Witnesses will tell you that the successor, Pak Lah, was quite obviously shaking as he put down his signature. Dr M on the other hand looked quite solemn throughout.

Doas were recited to usher the official appointment of Pak Lah as the fifth Prime Minister of Malaysia. The press had earlier reported that Dr M had asked the cabinet to support the new First Man, while Pak Lah had promised that current policies shall be continued.

At the Balairung Istana Negara, Dr M was also conferred the Anugerah Seri Maharaja Mangku Negara, now to be called Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamed and Seri Setia Mahkota award was given to his wife, now Tun Dr Siti Hasmah.

And the national anthem played on.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

We women will always have the last word!!!

Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night..... whether you're here or not."


Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'"

"Yeah?", she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last."


Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you're no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"


Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party and the man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready
to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."


Monday, October 27, 2003

Double standard

I came across one blog, and the blogger posted her YM conversation she had with a guy about being a girl. I didn't know which century these two came from but the way the girl accept the guy's so-called teguran is quite schmucky.

The guy claimed as a girl one needs to be lemah lembut, sopan santun. Even the word bodoh is considered kasar.

The girl argued by saying as if the guy is such a goody anyway. The guy said it is OK for a guy to say such stuff because guys are kasar, but girls need to "cakap lemah lembut, manis budi bicara, jalan lemah gemalai..." and so on, which I didn't bother to remember but suffice to say the rest of his suggestions are pretty much conventional. At this point I was thinking - what a stupid statement that is!

But what boiled me up was when the girl said Yea lah... ye lah... , surrendering that fast, that easily! My guess is that she's really young and perhaps she just wanted to please the guy.

But really, shouldn't it be a must for both guys and girls to be polite and do away with kasar words in the first place? What, don't tell me they're afraid that they'd be labelled lelaki lembut if they are polite, soft-spoken and don't insult each other with kasar words? C'mon!

As one ex-writer of Malaysiakini.com pointed out, just look at Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Caribbean - beads in his hair, eye-liner on his eye-lids, swagger in his walk, eloquent in his speech - but Jack Sparrow is still very much a man, even before he swings his sword.

But sad to note that a majority of our society is such. Guys - even the ones that falls into the category of X and Y generation - are mainly clouded by traditional expectations, though they hate to admit it. Unfortunately, they impose such expectation only on girls, but not them.

Smoking: Macho for guys, not OK for girls.
Swearing: Encouraged for guys, not OK for girls.
Lough out loud: A must for guys, not OK for girls.

But how about certain issues like making enough money to support the family? From what I gather, if a girl can do that, they'd say the girl should be helping her husband. If a guy earns enough to do that (which in the old days they all should attain this level), suddenly he's the prized bachelor! Kadavoley!

Then again, I have to be fair in my observation. So let me just note here that certain double standard does works against the guys too.

For instance, my cousin, a guy of my age (it's 25 by the way) is getting married after Raya. This news is recently the current "in" joke our family is sharing across uncles, aunties, cousins and seconds. Each ti,e it was repeated, there would be sniggers and guffaws and head-shakes and echos of "Haa? Si Kamal tu nak kahwin dah?"

Why? They say he's too young but gatal already. Kira kesian jugak lah...

p/s: Selamat Berpuasa semua, yang tak puasa enjoy the kuehs, harap korang doakan lah aku akan berjaya untuk tidak menyebut my fave word (f**k!) sepanjang bulan yang mulia ni dan seterusnya, among other stuff...

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Tech Support

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, FIFA 6.2 and RUGBY 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?



Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,
Tech support

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Poor little-dicked wanker

The Cheras Star LRT station is the kind of train station that is raised not too high above the ground it stood on - just about three meters or so. Since the train's rail devides the land into two sides, there is an underground path made for pedestrians, cyclists and bikers to get to the other side.

If you are going towards the main city - specifically Plaza Rakyat, Masjid Jamek and Bandaraya (stations) - from this station, you will have to buy your ticket on one side and cross to the other platform. On this side of the platform, you can see the users of the underground path come out from the other side. Where the underground path ends, a walkway that is shaded by plastic onnings stretch out towards outside the station's perimeters.

This particular morning, I was leaning on the side of the platform, waiting for a train that will take me to Masjid Jamek, engrossed in some reading, when I heard faint foot tappings and a little sound of someone clearing his throat. The sound came from the mouth of the underground path that runs under the station.

I briefly glanced in that direction - it was probably reflex, as faint footstep and a mere ekhem rarely interest me. I bet you can guess what I saw when I did this: yup, I saw a flasher.

Fondly called exhibitionist by Mrs Goh the English Literature teacher during my school days in Ipoh, this morning's flasher is a classic. Smartly dressed in a maroon shirt tucked in to a pair blue jeans, he only had his flies open as he bobbed his tiny dick, hoping someone would scream.

I was momentarily struck - less than a second, actually - eventhough this was not my first time seeing a flasher there.

The last time I saw some brainless sicko pulling the same stunt was sometime last year, and the man had been thin, wiry (and I'm not just referring to his body), fair-skinned but really hairy. This time around, this guy is much much darker, not as tall and he comes with a bulging stomach that kinda say "I'm due in five months, duh."

I think the spot where the guy is standing is a favourite for exhibitionists (maybe they have little persatuan meetings where they do a lot of knowledge sharing - ideas exchange, lessons learnt, competitive intelligence and all), as from the point I was standing, the man's shoulder and head is covered by the onning, cleverly shielding his face.

Then again I think he cannot see much of me too. As I quickly recovered and resumed my reading, I pretended to be very very much indifferent towards my surroundings. From the corner of my eyes I saw the man stepped forward, now revealing his shoulder to my view.

I kept on "reading". He shuffled his foot noisily. No respond from me, sorry. More ekhems dropped. I refused to shift my face away from the book, so he even made some mouse-sounds to gain my attention.

I was so tempted to take a photo of him with the cameraphone or have a bunch or rocks of throwable size handy so that I can bully him back, but just by turning and acknowledging his existence might give him just the satisfaction he wanted.

After a few minutes of little-noise making and dick wanking, he gave up - I only heard a noise that sounded like spitting or water squirting as the train came. I turn a bit, just in time to see his face (young fella in his twenties, clean-looking, a little moustache nicely trimmed) as he tucked his measly piece of meat back into his jeans and walked away from the underground path, him unaware.

I think guys who choose flashing as a career is in for a big disappointment. Nowadays girls don't blush easily anymore. Scream in the presence of a wanker wanking in public? Alahai... tak yah susah-susah la brader.

In fact, I know a lot of girls who had laughed in the face of a flasher and called the school gardener to hit the flasher with a shovel, gang-chased back a flasher who was on a kapcai (never mess with the Sastera '95 girls from RPS) and even threw a packet of hot teh tarik and a polisterene case of rojak pedas at a flasher (this girl claimed it was reflex and self-defence).

In this age and place where young girls can easily get blue films and some even have the chance to see it in action (live), a flasher needs to do more than just pumping his dick to impress and get a respectable shout.

Perhaps a little routine that involves setting that hair below on fire as the wanking is done might make us girls scream. Or maybe get a dog in the act - you know, let the animal chase after the wanked dick as how he would his own tail. No gourmet pies or whipped cream please, that is so yesterday.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Too desperate, you'll say yes to anything??

Last nite a friend call me. He wants invite me on behalf of our ex-colleague. She's getting married this weekend. When people tell me someone's getting married or someone has already married.. My first question will be "handsome tak husband dia?". Why? I don't even know why.

Say you are 30years old - single, you don't have any boyfriend or girlfriend. Everyone around you (your best friend, your office mates, your neighbour (basically sume orang la..) is already married or getting married. Your younger brother/sister's already planning for his/her wedding (thank God I'm the youngest one). and you.. u don't even have a bf/gf?? Will you be worried?
Then a man come into your life, asking more than a friendship from you. He's not your kind of guy -- not at all. He's not handsome or rich. He's just an ordinary "JOE". What will you do? Will you wait for your "right man" or you'll just grap whatever in front of you now?
As in one of the episode of Sex In The City Carrie said to Samantha "you are too desperate and now you'll say yes to anything". Or in peribahasa melayu "tangkap muat".

As for me.. I think I rather wait. I'm still young anyway.. *wink*..

ps.. sue, this is one of my reasons of why am I still single - I'M TOO CHOOSY

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Why do cute guys walk in during your most embarassing moments?

Last night my sis's fever still hasn't subsided, so I decided to tag along to her nightly gig at PH. In case she tak larat I will get promoted as her supir lah.

So I lepaked at PH for a few hours, not bumping into anyone special (unless you count that pakcik gatal who belanjaed us a drink, claiming to be an admirer of my sis' fashion style. It turned out that he's a Jaksa Pendamai of some kind - I don't even know if I heard the PH waiter right or not when he was telling my sis about the guy, as I was doing my best to get into the 3rd level of Magic II game on the borrowed Motorola E365).
Motorola E365

At last the third set ended - for a Monday night, the place was quite crowded so we quickly made our escape. My sis talked to the drummer for a bit just before we leave to settle on the next soundcheck session or something - I wasn't paying attention cause I was about to hit the 3rd level on Magic II (I still have the E365 review unit cause the Motorola guys hasn't asked for it yet.)

We adjourned to the dingy mamak stall across PH cause my sis finally decided that she can eat something (she's been surviving on fruits for the past two days). We almost finished our nasi lemak and roti canais when the drummer suddenly made an appearance.

We thought he had come to reschedule the soundcheck or something, but instead he came to me and said, "Eh you got a fan lah!", at the same time he looked apologetically to my sis, as if asking permission for him to say this. Apparently the so-called fan is a PH regular who had seen us talking just now.

"My friend wants to get to know you, boleh ke?" I was in the midst of finishing my drink, so the drummer continued by asking something that sounded like, "Muka dia macam Wahid Senario, ndak tak?"

I choked, almost nak tersembur some of the teh o I was drinking. Just a few drops escaped though, not hurting anyone's make up, but unfortunately an awful gurgling noise escaped from my choking self in my effort to surpress a bigger disaster from happening. Why do I always have some drink in my mouth everytime someone makes a joke or tell me something unexpected like this?

And at the same time, this cute guy, whom I saw from a distance down at PH just now (but he didn't seem to as cute from a distance), came with his friend to join the suppering crowd at the very same mamak stall. And as the two of them settled at the table next to us, they inevitably caught my embarassing display of conduct!

My table-mates exploded with laughter - at my expense, mind you - and I can see the two guys at the next table sharing the amusement. Then my sis said "Considering in Senario, Wahid is the most good looking, you should go for it!" What a betrayal!

I finally told them - loud enough so that the guys at next table can eavesdrop without even trying - that there's no need to look as gorgeous as Wahid Senario to be my friend.

Which is a very true thing indeed. I love making friends. I like hanging out with various types of groups and I love learning about new stuff.

Tapi itu kalau kawan lah kan. Kalau nak jadi lebih dari kawan nak la yang hensem. There you go! I hereby admit I am the memilih kind!

Monday, October 13, 2003

Anugerah Era 2003

Anugerah Era 2003... and I wanna be in Misha Omar's shoes!

I mean that gal was surrounded by 5 guys - though not all of them were cute, but they all adored her, right? So let's not miss the point here.

For my generation, it is said that there are more females than males. So shoot me if I'm jealous that Misha's got five guys serenading her on stage on national TV (though it was a delayed telecast on TV3 that I cought).

So perhaps Sue, my listing of "Why I'm still single" is a line longer than yours. I'll be adding "That Misha Omar is hoarding five guys to herself, cutting the supply of guys in the market, limiting my chances of getting hooked."

Never the less, I am quite enthralled by their singing - though Misha Omar did looked as if she's either nervous or trying too hard when she strained her voice a bit too many times ala Rem - and the music arrangement was something I should keep in mind for future composing ideas.

For Malaysian awards standard, it is something new to have two songs intertwined as such. And to have it done and delivered impeccably is again, something new.

But that just shows that there are good Malaysian artistes out there, and should these people be sponsored to perform in a concert, I think I dont mind spending RM50 for a good seat.

Back to the listing of "Why I'm still single" - heartbreakaphobia, I believe is not uncommon. However, such is love that there are no guarantees.

If you want it, you gotta make that plunge (ever wonder why they use the term falling in love so often? Bet it must feel like taking a bungee jump huh? Ah well, I wouldn't know for sure, cause I'm a Josie Gellar myself.)

But how can you take that plunge if there's no one asking right? Hmm... tricky, tricky...

p/s: Go public - can, but I hope to stay anonymous... and mysterious... and superfluous... (evidently I'm still not over Johnny Depp's sterling performance in Pirates of the Caribbean!)

p/s 2: Sue & Jen, you guys should go catch Korean film "The Tale of Two Sisters" - sad story, scary as hell - this-easily-scared chick got out of the theater with a little sore throat... (and please forgive Cik Tin and I for we could not be patient enough to wait for you guys.

You know, come to think of it, a horror film is a good benchmark test for me to determine if that guy is worth taking the plunge for or not. If he screams louder than me, he's not lah kan, duh! Either that or a rollar coaster ride in Berjaya Times Square...

10 reasons Why I, Sue, still single?

1. Less commitment
2. I'd get to spend more time with my friends anytime...
3. I can go anywhere without having to report to anyone every 5 or 10 minutes...
4. I don't have to worry about the whereabouts of my partner and whom they're with...
5. I don't have to baby-talk to anyone on the phone... TURN-OFF!!!!
6. I won't get strained neck from hanging on the phone 3 hours a day with my boyfriend...
7. Too many gay guys out there...
8. Too many straight guys (so they say!) who have slept with gays...
9. All the nice guys taken (Jennifer, give my Brad back! Aragorn, Aragorn where forth are thou??? Hans been with Elaine, yuck!)
10. Less problems!
I'd rather stay single (for the moment)...

But, there's this test in eMode, which I have done, it says I am still single because...
I am "afraid of being heartbroken"

Is this true? hmmmm??????

For those girls who have been there, you might know this.
Married guys common excuse for having an affair.... "It was an arranged marriage. I don't love my wife" Yet they have children from that marriage! Hah!!!

p/s: meen, go public.... what inferiority complex? You're a journalist for god sake!!!
p/s/s: my blog...

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Why do I like my house? And why do I like flicking TV channels?

Typical, really.

Why do I like my house? Cause I'm used to it, so even if you blindfold me, I can still find my way around, even in desperate moments (like if you really, really, really have to pee you can't think straight anymore). I like familiarity - it's safe. So safety is what I'm looking for. Safety also entails security and guarantee.

Why do I like flicking TV channels? Cause I get bored easily, don't you? After all most TV programs are non-interactive, and few really come across as engaging, even less comes with the suspense and thrill elements that excite us so. Hence the channel flicking. But channel-flicking also means I'm still looking - for that suitable TV channel worth watching. Which means I'm not giving up on TV yet.

What's all this talk about a house and a particular TV behaviour?

Cause it just occured to me that for some people, when it comes to the issue of choosing a life partner, the why-do-I-like-my-house and why-do-I-like-flicking-TV-channels are the two approaches they comfortably adopt.

When it comes to settling down with a sigificant someone, these people want someone they really know what to expect from. No surprises, no "Honey, I think I'm having doubts about my sexuality!", no complications.

And when it comes to choosing that significant someone, these people are always opening up to whoever's available, yet still adamant on choosing the best out there.

Such was the insight I gained from a couple of thirty-somethings who works in my office, over a ride back from Cyberjaya just now. They're smart, talented, beautiful, got a great career going and I just don't see how on earth they arrived to such conclusions.

I didn't say much to them just now, for I was trying to analyze their input (oh wow, how academic). But now, come to think of it, I don't think things work that way.

First of all, I'm sure it would be safe and secure settling with someone you really know inside out. It might even guarantee you against a case of heartbreak. But from what I've seen (a mere 25 years worth of observation, count in the years I was green and stupid), love's not like that.

Even the people closest and most familiar to you have tendencies to give you heartbreaks - albeit little, most of the time unintentionally - but hey, shit happens, life happens. So truthfully, there's really no guarantee.

Secondly, to liken humans to TV programs is sad. While TV tend to mostly non-interactive (oh, forget that chit with that stupid whatever accent doing the blurbs for Survivor 7 on NTV7), humans are.

Personally I too wish I can just pick any guy I want just like how you flick TV channels. But, while any TV channels you flick to will readily air the program you find suited to your liking, guys on the street won't. (Well not all of them anyway, even if you're major babe.)

The more I think about it, the more I suspect that these two thirty-somethings are remaining single because they prefer to be so. Perhaps they're not ready to commit, hence they give such excuses (may it be in the form of the two above theories, it still does not sound convincing to me).

But check this out - what worried me most as I was listening to them talking just now was: Will I sound like them when I turn 30 and still single? Unbelieveable, isn't it? Like I'm missing the point or something like that now, isn't it?

Will I end up like them? Will someone look at me and think how ridiculous their musings sound, just like how I'm looking and thinking about them now? Will I be even bitter then? My train of thoughts went on like this throughout the ride.

Then they asked me, "Why aren't you with someone already?"

(Boy oh boy, don't we all love this question? To have these more-experienced singles ask such question to another single feels like being ragged by the senior students in high school during the orientation week. What a non-necessity! What a redundancy!)

I told them I have not met the right person yet (and the right person is Faizal Hussein but as satu Malaya dah tau he's quite unavailable) and they gave me their promise to make me come to their next BBQ party and introduce me to their cousins/ex-colleagues/neighbour/chatfriend.


Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Everybody bitch about their boss (and a fair amount of their colleagues)

I was having lunch with a couple of friends - whom I love to refer to Popo and Ah Beng - just now, and we got talking about our bosses. You see, Popo and I share the same male boss, while Ah Beng is tied to another team headed by a woman boss.

(Let me first share with you why I call Popo - Popo, and why Ah Beng is Ah Beng.

Popo is a lady in her 40s - she would not say out loud her age, typical isn't it. But what's not typical about her is that she tries very very hard to hide it. Still typical you say? Maybe but check this out - she listens to Linkin' Park and Atomic Kitten and loves to hang out with the younger crowd in the office.

So there's many like her, you may say, and you know a couple more people - young at heart as they're commonly termed - who are doing the same thing. Sure, but how many of them even go as far as introducing her own grown-up daughter as a friend?

So for going that far to hide her age, I grant her the nickname of Popo.

As for Ah Beng - well, he's all that really - coloured hair, two pairs of spectacles (one for work, one for partying - and that party pair has a lemon green frame, beat that!), dressed like Ah Beng, talk like Ah Beng, hear all the Ah Beng techno music etcetera metcetera.

So for conforming to the typical Ah Beng archetype, he's Ah Beng to me.)

As the lunch time story goes, Ah Beng was thanking us for tapauing his lunch as he had to rush and submit some work to his lady boss. This lady boss of his is infamous for being inapproprieately prissy, fussy, and nak-cepat-sy so when Ah Beng starts bitching about her, that's hardly new.

He said my boss seems cool, and that he thinks most lady bosses sux. In the context of our office, this statement is a fallacy, I said. Firstly my boss ain't cool. Secondly, there is a lady boss heading another department in our office and because I had been doing some jobs under her, I knew for a fact that she's cool.

I related to Ah Beng about my experience - there was this one time when my so-called cool male boss was trying to correct my spelling. You see, we were supposed to conform to the British English instead of the US English that I am so used to.

I did try my best to check my spellings and even do double checking on my own the moment I found out that the company's spellchecker software is US-based. But I'm not perfect either, thus sometimes the "z"s fell through instead of the "s" (hence organization instead of organisation).

I supposed my boss must have had enough of "z"s instead of "s"s when he finally said "If you have not been to US, lived in US or studied in US, I supposed by now you should be able to get used to British English ya."

For a person like me - as in victimised during the 1998 recession when the government pulled out education funds for overseas studies (and what a bad decision that was, though I don't really fancy going to US but the education system there suits me) - that particular statement is very very painful to swallow. Mentang-mentang la dia pernah duduk kat UK, bila cakap terkeluar je "Oh gosh! dengan "Golly me!" dia...

But I did push that fucking comment out of the way and ever since that I minded my "z"s as how a teenager would treat his pimples (sometimes he let it be and rub some oxy on it, sometimes he'll just forget about it, sometimes he'll squash it).

Bottomline is, as I had related to Ah Beng just now, it is how you take it. Your boss ain't perfect, so aren't you. But there is always room for compromise, and you always have the choice to be the bigger person and improve (though switching to British English from US English is not what I would call improvement - both of them are still the same weird language after all).

Ah Beng was nodding away and he recalled his own spelling incident. His lad boss told him to "Do your job la! Don't copy!" when he kept spelling everything in US English (as how he was thought during his student days in Taiwan). "As if I'd copy!" he protested in defence. Now that's just as bad, I thought.

While Ah Beng and I were happily bitching about our bosses, Popo was keeping quiet in her seat. This goody-two-shoes squirmed everytime I mention my boss's anal comments - I could see it but I went on talking anyway.

You see, Popo adores our boss - probably cause she was made as part of the team when he took over, instead of keeping to her old less-glamourous secretarial job - and she can't stand it when he's being made into a bitch-topic. And on top of that, Popo is also a good friend to Ah Beng's boss (she's pretty much close to every one in the senior level for she has been with our company for eons).

And way too bad for her, cause Ah Beng and I had no qualms about bad-mouthing our bosses. If they deserved it, they deserve it, if they don't, we deserve the right to bitch still - it is a free country.

The truth is, we were just bitching so that the toxic will clear out of our system and we can move on, try to do our job as good as we can.

But loyal old Popo can't handle the bitch-trip, so she quit the lunch session and excused herself. Two more colleagues joined us after Popo left, bringing the day's installation of Malay Mail to accompany their chapatis.

There was an article about a magician being attacked by its pet for show tiger. The incident happened during a show - the magician flip his whip to get the tiger's attention, which was supposedly quite routine. But instead of complying, the tiger snapped and sank his teeth into the magician's neck.

We were contemplating the reason behind the tiger's unanticipated attack. Probably the tiger was too hungry, said one of lunchtable member. Another said the magician might have released a wrong command using his whip - accidental thing, maybe. Yeah? The truth is, like I said, "See, everybody bitch about their boss!"

Monday, October 06, 2003

A threesome is not a goodsome

It is always a mistake to go out with your sis and her BF, eventhough they insist they will belanja makan, or that the other guys would be joining later and so on. But food has always been a weakness on my part, hence another day I succumbed to temptation.

Twas Sunday night and the plan was to catch PH's Sunday Night Live with Dayang Nurfaizah (DNF). And oh, there's Hazami (H) and Reshmonu (R) too. This overlook was intentional, as in my honest opinion most of the people that came down to the club wanted to see DNF, a bit wanted to see H and a number was curious about R.

The night started out fine when DNF, H, and R finally joined the band - comprising of Acis, Jamie Wilson, Kelly and Zaibo plus a couple of back up singer - at 10.45PM. Now the thingy started late already, but it would have ended sooner should R just keep singing and stop trying to impress the crowd with his MCCing talent(less) and bad-sounding English.

Really, the only part I got from R's rants was "KL make some noiiizzee!!!" and apart from that I only heard enough to conclude that he must be related to Chewbacca. But his awful slang and lousy overzealous stage control were not enough to make me post this bitching blog.

It was also his I-think-I'm-sexy ogling too. He was trying to get fresh with DNF, albeit jokingly, twas horrendous. DNF had to literally push him off the stage before she can get her song done.

And boy does R babble a lot - I think it was something about his album being onsale for only RM3 for that night and the proceeds will be forwarded to charity or something like that, etcetera, whatevera. Bolehwood's Ambrosia Lala aka Ribena Berry's words echoed in my mind.. "Give an Indian a mic aaa... and.." Twas true! Every time R got the mic, a compulsory (on his account) 5-minutes babble session triggers, deriving a lot of "Oy! Just sing lah!" hollars from the audience.

H too had to shoo off R - and unfortunately he did it in his own way. H got down to his dance routine (note: cringe here) and jiggled his little self off-beatly. I wonder how he could sing just fine but his body can't move accordingly. Or was that intentional?

But though I was trapped in a threesome for quite some time before the others who were supposed to join us joined us, facing the minus-Reshmonu-everything-was-fine performance on stage, the night was not all bad.

There at the big screen, an oh-so-Malay looking tall guy with a forgiveable goatie clad in a pressie red and white sweater and a beanie snowcap atop his head was leaning, trying to enjoy the show and the Aston Villa match at the same time.

He was wearing a very arrogant look on his face - if he was not good-looking you'd think that he's so sombong - but since he was, he looked very, very attractive indeed. Guess it's true gals, what seems unobtainable is more appealing than what comes easily to your plams.

And I happen to be facing the screen at a very comfortable angle. But with my sis busy on the other end of the table, I did not have the luxury to point out the cute guy for group observation. (Later my sis told me that the guy was a regular and she did spoke to him and his gang a couple of nights before!)

But what can a girl do? Talk to him? Yeah right! Don't have that much courage, nor did I have a good pick-up line. Smile at him first? No way, he was looking aloof and oh-so-sombong remember? Stare? Yep! Well, he was leaning near the big screen so it's OK to stare at his direction and pretend he's so not there.

Did that work? Hell no!

Thursday, October 02, 2003

To be or not to be... really public

Dere bloggers,

I had thought of making this blog public, but personally I'm suffering from a little inferiority complex - you see I think my writing kinda sux. However, how else can I change if I don't start now, right?

So since the Sinner has suggested that we go public with this blog, I vote aye. But first let me clean up some bloopers from my previous posts, will not do well to offend the citizens of the cyberspace - albeit virtual, there's always a chance that things can get quite nasty. As it is I have already offend nerds and gays, I think (though I didn't mean to!)

Then again, as the admin access is granted to only a few people, I'd say we can handle it should shit come our way. So to Lize and Sue, how bout it? Shall we go public?

To further specify the extend of the blog, let's invite people who wishes to talk about the single topic, which is, ahem, single. Being single, joys and killjoys of singlehood, what married people think about single people, what single girls think about single boys vice versa, what gay singles think about straight singles, what pets think of their single owner, where singles can hangout to meet other singles, what single people should not talk about with married people vice versa, why some matchmaker remain single and such.

As this single topic already have the potential to span uncontrollably, I vote we do not entertain other postings. OK ah?

(Though I'd love it if the topic art be included so that we can get people to share info on gigs, shows, theater and such - but we already have Kakiseni.com for that.)

If all say aye, let's only go public when all of us has done the cleaning up process, alright ka?

jom advertise!!

at last i'm here.. susah payah ni baru dapat access to this blog...
my colleague ask me.. this blog is for single woman only is it?? how about single man.. or perempuan dah ada boyfriend.. can other people contribute their stories to this blog..?? if can.. how???

banyak soalan ni meen.. camner tu.. hehehe...
aku tengah rajin ni.. nak aku modified blog ni??

ps.. korang nak tengok blog aku kan.. ni dia... the-sinner.blogspot.com. korang don't have to read the content.. as u know i'm not good in writing..

Peek-a-boo ghoul and a straight girl's musings

Yesterday was Wednesday, the 6-bucks day. Have to admit I'm a sucker for this - I loved the fact that we get to have RM4 off the normal ticket price, and now that the pirate VCDs are harder to obtain, I always look forward to the 6-bucks day.

We wanted to catch Cinta Kolesterol at first - for me it's not just due to the thrill of seeing Erra Fazira all plumped up, I believe it is a good opportunity to do my part as a local supporting the local film industry.

I already missed Rabun, and as far as I can tell the rest of the movies does not star Faizal Hussein so it has been justified here that I do not have much choice, if I still want to do my bit for the Malay film industry. So Cinta Kolesterol it is.

Alas, twas not meant to be. Tickets available for the evening shows are not what we could settle for. So, the 6-bucks day sucker in me decided another show should be it.

We saw the movie Darkness, which starred Anna Paquin. It was a horror film - not so much gory but twas more of an optical illusionary treat. There was this one scene with the so called evil creature hanging from the ceiling of the haunted cult house - it sort of reminded me of the tale a sophomore in MCC once told us freshmen.

You see, the hostel I was in - Aishah Hall of MCC Kuantan to be specific - has its own set of horrors. One of it entails a creature that hangs from the ceiling, going from room to room with its smile and fiery red eyes, and it will extend its long neck just as it gets above the closet that also double as the partition before the corridor and say its scary version of peek-a-boo to whoever is lying on her bed watching the ceiling for inspiration.

Hence each closet in Aishah Hall - even on our freshman mate Sheila Ramasamy's - has a small surah Yassin booklet stashed on top - a repellent measure which must have worked I supposed, as I was fortunate enough not to have encounter any peek-a-boo ghoul during my stay. Still, even thinking of it makes one like me shiver.

The highlight of the 6-bucks day was when Tini suggested that we all go to Naili's Sentul to catch dinner and ubi rebus there. The ubi rebus was delicious, of course but the cute boys manning the service line are more interesting to look at.

Well, right untill Tini mentioned that the famous gay blogger we all read up on has the same taste in men - those kg.com looking guys yang berbadan sasa in particular, seems to be right down his alley.

I hate to think that my prospects of getting cute dudes are now even narrower, considering some are also game for homosexual relationships. Why wont they take the nerds and leave the good looking kg.com-looking guys for us straight girls? After all, rumour has it that gay men are more sensitive and open minded plus they're more interested in one's inner beauty - so look and body are superficial, right? (So hand them to me - for this point of time, I don't mind superficials!)

If the market of straight guys has only nerds left for grabs, will I have to start reading all those self-help books and Cleo/MarieClaire-like mags? I mean mayhap one of these days they'll feature articles like "Turn your nerdy lover into a hunk" or "Discover the inner strength in your introvert BFs" or maybe "How to act meek to match your wimpy date". Should these mags touch this low, we will know by then that straight girls are at a losing end!

For the time being, I foresee an article ala "How to be a natural damsel-in-distress" (with a sub-headline that reads "Make the guy you are trying to impress thinks he's hero") heading our way soon.

Monday, September 22, 2003

Sue got in!

Finally! One member! Of course I also granted the Admin access as well - everybody can do everything here.

I gotta start working soon - I have been doing nothing the whole of last week (nothing related to work), and I got tons of articles to write!

Tak cukup korum...

Just received your invite...

Macam tak pecaya je yg Cik Li dah fly gi UK... tsk! tsk! tsk!
Dah kurang sorang.... Selamat ada lagi 3 org member...
Dulu macam C.S.I... sekarang dah jadik Sex & the City punya geng laks!

Geng, jgn lupa tgk wayang rabu nih!!!!


ps: bosan datang kerja, pasal ada chance kena panggil ngan boss! tidakkkk!!!!!!

So far so....

Lonely! Manakah sumua worang yang ku invite earlier? Belum terima invitation kah? Memang server kat opis nih selalu jek buat hal, but I thought I did sent out the messages... I'll resend then!

Friday, September 19, 2003

Why sing, sing, song?

Confession: I'm hooked to blogging!

I just can't have enough of it. Perhaps it's cause writing for a publication can sometimes be very frustrating (cause you have to adhere to advertiser's preference and editor's instructions, maybe).

I've started three blogs already - this is my fourth. There's just so much to blog about. Sharing it with friends seems fun, hence the emergence of singled out.

Here's what I think this blog will be good for:

1. I may have started this blog, but I plan to give administrator rights to everyone so that everyone can edit and add the look of this blog to their liking - the truth be said: I sux at html though I might have impressed Cik Li when I said I remember a bit of it. Besides, I still can't load photos up this blog, and have recently failed to put links that can point straight to a page on my Yahoo! Photos - so maybe you guys can help?

2. Creative writing (which is part of my work) does not come easy. I hope you guys will blog and tell the rest of us whatever you are willing to share - and do be generous while you at it - any topic, any writing format, any language - all are welcomed. I'm sure all posting will inspire me as well as you all too in one way or another.

3. Perhaps this blog will be a good place to consult others about stuff that we're not sure how to handle (I sure could use that from the rest of you gals!).

So tell me if this is a good idea or does it sux like hell! And as to kenapa I name it sing sing song? 'Tahlah!