Double standard

I came across one blog, and the blogger posted her YM conversation she had with a guy about being a girl. I didn't know which century these two came from but the way the girl accept the guy's so-called teguran is quite schmucky.

The guy claimed as a girl one needs to be lemah lembut, sopan santun. Even the word bodoh is considered kasar.

The girl argued by saying as if the guy is such a goody anyway. The guy said it is OK for a guy to say such stuff because guys are kasar, but girls need to "cakap lemah lembut, manis budi bicara, jalan lemah gemalai..." and so on, which I didn't bother to remember but suffice to say the rest of his suggestions are pretty much conventional. At this point I was thinking - what a stupid statement that is!

But what boiled me up was when the girl said Yea lah... ye lah... , surrendering that fast, that easily! My guess is that she's really young and perhaps she just wanted to please the guy.

But really, shouldn't it be a must for both guys and girls to be polite and do away with kasar words in the first place? What, don't tell me they're afraid that they'd be labelled lelaki lembut if they are polite, soft-spoken and don't insult each other with kasar words? C'mon!

As one ex-writer of Malaysiakini.com pointed out, just look at Johnny Depp's character in Pirates of the Caribbean - beads in his hair, eye-liner on his eye-lids, swagger in his walk, eloquent in his speech - but Jack Sparrow is still very much a man, even before he swings his sword.

But sad to note that a majority of our society is such. Guys - even the ones that falls into the category of X and Y generation - are mainly clouded by traditional expectations, though they hate to admit it. Unfortunately, they impose such expectation only on girls, but not them.

Smoking: Macho for guys, not OK for girls.
Swearing: Encouraged for guys, not OK for girls.
Lough out loud: A must for guys, not OK for girls.

But how about certain issues like making enough money to support the family? From what I gather, if a girl can do that, they'd say the girl should be helping her husband. If a guy earns enough to do that (which in the old days they all should attain this level), suddenly he's the prized bachelor! Kadavoley!

Then again, I have to be fair in my observation. So let me just note here that certain double standard does works against the guys too.

For instance, my cousin, a guy of my age (it's 25 by the way) is getting married after Raya. This news is recently the current "in" joke our family is sharing across uncles, aunties, cousins and seconds. Each ti,e it was repeated, there would be sniggers and guffaws and head-shakes and echos of "Haa? Si Kamal tu nak kahwin dah?"

Why? They say he's too young but gatal already. Kira kesian jugak lah...

p/s: Selamat Berpuasa semua, yang tak puasa enjoy the kuehs, harap korang doakan lah aku akan berjaya untuk tidak menyebut my fave word (f**k!) sepanjang bulan yang mulia ni dan seterusnya, among other stuff...