Friday, March 31, 2006

M! The Ops!pera

Riding on the crowd's current flavour for theatre offerings (thanks to PGL hype) M! The Opera finally came to me last night.

First impression:
- "Wah seats baekk punya! Thanks a lot Abang Badak Biru Yang Tak Dapat Balik Kampung Raya Tahun Lalu!"

Second impression:
Eh, apesal lambat start nih?

Continuing on:
Hmm... chaosnye opening act dia... Vocals tenggelam dek orchestra la pulak... Nasib ade subtitles... Besides, the set looks Oscar-ly inspired glam!
- Oh M masa kecik-kecik dulu rupenye - ha ha ha... quite funny lah Azean!
- And that "pondan" character - hmm, familiar, oh yeah saw him in the same kebaya outfit in Ghazal Party Queen last year, ooh didn't know he/she could sing that well - voice control and projection baekk gitu!
- Why lah everyone keep measuring each other's breasts ni - kot iye pun tukang jahit takkan la tak amik ukuran kat tempat lain kot? Sukatila cik director and choreographer...

More acts down the road:
Hmm... best juga lagu "There is no time... There is no time..." layan.. layan... *eh interrupted* "Paula Malai Ali punya breasts pun kena ukur on stage juga!" says a friend.
- From another friend: "Perasan tak bila tengok lama-lama, texture muka Khir Rahman sama la dengan father dia A. Rahman Hassan!" Says I back to her: "Texture muka ye Intan?"
- And Khir's most memorable line tonight goes something like this: "Apesal nak stress? It's only a dress!"

- Ooh... ramenye kaum artists... Shuhaimi Bab the film director, Rafi the guitarist, tu sape ke tu - "Roy Azman la.." says my friend. And that deejay... And model Bernice Chan... And actress from Bolehwood... And the actor who played Rahim Razali's first son in Split Gravy on Rice...
- Eh eh big big boss aku pun ade? Takde lah tinggi sangat. Senyumlah, senyumlah ahai cek mek - Aiyoyo kadavoley he smiled back! Quick must transfer very important sub-conscious message to his brain wavelength now: ~Bagi~la~ bonus~... ~Bagi~la~bonus~...!
- A mate was asking, how come the girls are all singing soprano? My take on that: The men have to ultra-low and females ultra-high so that the pondan's vocal range can be slotted in the middle. Tis only fair. Ahhah...

After intermission:
- Aik dah ade yang dah balik? "Don't they want to know the ending?" asks my officemate. "Agaknye they could not connect with the opera kot?" says moi back.
- Eh dah start - ek awat jadi lagu nih? Sepi ni still the angel or already a devil? Didn't she had something going on with that pelat Kerabat just now?
- Wow, that has got to be M's second most memorable line tonight: He goes, "Kahwiiiin dengan akuuuu!"
- Ooo... camtu rupanye... ala.. habis camni je ke? Anti-climax la pulak...

After the show:
- The same officemate asks, "So how would you rate it?" Says I, "To me, my benchmark would be how much they managed to connect with the audience. Actually I'm kinda disappointed that Jit, S.Rastam, Jo & co didn't get under my skin this time.. Ops! But it's not fair to compare M! with their previous works, which are all of a different genre.."
- Oops terserempak - singer Shafinaz still remember her super juniors la.. suka la si Pipa dengan Intan tu!
- Teh tarik at Pelita anyone? Four takers - reminiscing the days of Split Gravy on Rice, Bolehwood and Gross Indecency: Three Trials of Oscar Wilde and Alang Rentak Seribu. Just when I thought one drama is enough for one night, another one kick-starts... Oops!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The desired effect brought on by nasi beringin

For those who know what nasi beringin is all about, you know this is true.

When you that lousy environment in the coop and you just want to zombie through the day, go as fast as you can to the little nasi beringin stall. Ask for the whole magical she-bang, that's what you need to do:

"Full, not half serving of that spell-bound rice you must start with."

"Ayam Goreng or Daging Rendang on the plate next (or both, see if you dare)."

"Side-sambal of tentacled seafood or cholesterol drained egg to complement the ensemble."

"And semi-fermented vegetable at default setting you'll always get."

"Lastly swear for that one time you must against all caffeine-infested antidote liquid - fend yourself against the temptation of Kopi "C" Ais and NesLo Ais from Yoges (don't trust the smile from the drinkmaker who sells Amway stuff on the sideline)."

Then eat... eeeeeeat! Eat and get zonked out.

And that you will succumb to right after you hear you tell your lunch mates "Naah, we don't have a fixed lunch time..."

Be zombie! Be merry!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Tribute to Pressure

Note to Ariel: Yah babes, I shoulda listened to you - must fly the coop before I go crazy. The subsods win again - fuck them all, fuck the nloody anal guy who protects them first instead of me. They're all wankers glazed with nutmeg and whipped cream plus a dash of chocolate sprinkles, all ready to be tied with barbwire then castrated inch by inch (as SC always suggests) then fed to the ants part by part and left for dead right in the middle of Saruman's monster-makin lab and right before they close their eyes and block their brains from thinking you quote that 3 year old kid you overheard at the party and say, "Babi gedik!"... Whoa, that feels good. The kid really knows his stuff.

On days you just want to tell everyone in the coop "Fuck you! And you! And you too!", sing along to this David Bowie & Queen song in your head:

Under Pressure
Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure - that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets

Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da - that's o.k.

It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher

Pressure on people - people on streets
Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba O.k.

Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours

Ee do ba be
Ee da ba ba ba
Um bo bo
Be lap
People on streets - ee da de da de
People on streets - ee da de da de da de da

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher high high

Pressure on people - people on streets
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why - why - why?

Love love love love love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for

The people on the edge of the night
And loves dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves

Under pressure
Under pressure

P/S: I hate bad days. The coop should really get me a shooting range plus some ammo to work with on days like this, cause I'm not about to be called unproductive. Let me at least shoot the idiots out of the picture.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Must see: The Producers

If you like comedy, music, stylized dancin' and you LOL-ing in the cinema, the film The Producers will make you do just that. I was lucky enough to get a seat in the press screening just this morning and I'm glad I got out of bed early.

Betul, sakit perut ketawa yang sangat tak tahan oohh... Coming to you this March 30th, 2006.
Photo courtesy of Yahoo!Movies and Universal Pictures

I bet if IB brings the play in, it'll cost you some RM100 just to get the way above seats at the upper circle! So since you can enjoy this gem at RM10...

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

A tiny moment of wallowing in self-pity

Today's NST (Pg 20) article titled "Ex-gratia for MAS staff" reports that as part of a strategy to boost morale, all MAS staff will receive RM1,000 each later this month. This move will cost the company RM21-freakin-million.

That's three times the amount this coop needs to give all of its hens one month bonus, moreover the coop just reported some 40+% increase in profit tu! Comparatively MAS has a loss of a whopping RM1.3-freakin-freakin-billion last year alone!

Mak ai! Apekah maa'na nya semua ini? I don't know what makes sense anymore!

Do I need to distract myself with news on Mawi's appoinment as KL Tower ambassador or Siti's alleged affair with Datuk K being disahkan?

Frustrated, I am. Shan't be able to stop myself from turning to the dark side! (Turning right now...)

O Darth Maul, o sith with red and black melon colour-scheme head....
Rise thou from ashes...
And grant me apprenticeship...!

Can call me Darth Makan oso! (Pun not intended!)

p/s: Can someone remember the lyrics of Sudirman's Merisik Khabar? Need to sing that now since can't get the PGLM tune that goes "Melaka... Oh Melaka..." tune outta my head!