We had a potluck last Saturday, and boy it surprises each one of us that we've been friends since 1996. It's nice to note that most of us are still the same people, plus minus a few wrinkles... we are after all hitting mid 30s give or take a couple more years!
One of us will be furthering studies. Masters level, her second post-grad project, overseas. Wow.
One of us is in the midst of trying for a second kid. Wow oh wow.
One of us will be expanding her business. Triple wow.
Er, not doing anything special. Just getting by. Very content with the way things are. Still the cabuk reporter who's not even aiming to get promoted or gaining recognition in any way.
Do I wanna further studies? No? Why not? I'm lazy in that sense. I want to learn new things, but I'd hate the commitment to classes and exams. If I do go back to studies, can I learn how to blow glass in that furnace thing and make some nice chandeliers? Can I learn that in a week? I've always wanted a skill that can train me patience.
Do I wanna go overseas? No? Why not? Cause it reminds me of work. When I have to go overseas, many a times that means leaving my family behind. And I'd be thinking of them each time I eat the expensive meals and sleep in the posh hotel my sponsors provide. If I do go overseas, can I take my family and learn how to blow glass into nice things while they enjoy their morning coffee? Can I go, learn and enjoy the country in a month? I've always dreamt of taking a break from my job that way.
Do I want to try for a second kid? Not right now? Why not? Cause I don't think I'm that good at mothering just yet. If I do try for a second kid, can I go overseas where at the same time I get to learn how to blow glass into nice things, enjoy the country then bring back a foreign maid with me? Can I go to China and do that? I've always wanted to brush up my Mandarin.
Do I want to do something else for a living? No? Why not? Cause my work is actually more play than anything else. If I do switch careers, can I become a receptionist? Can I go overseas, learn how to blow glass into nice things, enjoy the country and earn a living doing something that warrants no worries? Maybe after I've brushed up my Mandarin, then I'll be a trilingual addition to any company...
I like how things are.
If I continue the way I'm living now, I'd probably not accomplish much. Not contributing much, beyond being an environmentally conscious and a nice neighbour.
Must I make a mark in this world? If I die, must I be remembered for what I've achieved? Are they going to write "Siti Rosman, Pullitzer prize winner, MBA, PHD, saviour of white striped Asian eel, owner of 2,032 strong Starbuxie franchise" on my tombstone?
Probably not... Cause even if they want to, I'd doubt if they'd be able to, cause I ain't doing all that... for now.
Who knows, maybe things will change. Maybe my perspective on life will change once I hit the 40s. Maybe suddenly the moment I hit 40, I'd want people to know me, what I've done, where I've been, who I've met, what awards and accolodates I've achieved (read: mid-life crisis).