Wednesday, January 26, 2005

When you're up to no good

pix snagged from

Have you ever felt sneaky? Devious, crooked even, and sub-rosa... (Ooh, I'm so not over the Da Vinci Code yet!)

If you haven't, try it. Trust me, the feeling is good.

In fact, it's rather exciting. Especially when you didn't mean to, but things just happen to turn like that and that's that.

Since that's that had smiled upon me, I had to resort to living up to my name's homophone. And when that happens, it means I'm mean.

And what's a day of sneakiness without being mean, and mean it? So up to 3PM today, I've committed three no-goods already!

And it feels sooo good. Being in a sneaky mood itself feels wonderful.

It feels like you've just been introduced as the journalist invited to do an interview, and the PR who will have to be at your beck and call, handling the event was once the senior busuk who gave you a lot of crap in U.

It feels like you've just "Ekhem!"-ed behind the backs of a bunch of "friends" (or so you thought) who were in the middle of badmouthing you.

It feels like you've just bumped into your ex-suitor and purposely called him "Comel sayang" right in front of his bitchy, insecure girlfriend.

I can't tell you what were the non-deeds that I've managed to accomplished today, hey, I don't want to be a bad example. But I'll tell you this - try it!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

The sound coming from...

* photo borrowed from, thanks!

... above!

You see my habitat is something many people would call:
1] my dad: "Pigeon hole!"
2] my 1st bro and sis-in-law (owners): "Well maintained, conveniently located."
3] my sis: "Kadang-kadang macam asrama ITM pulak."
4] me: "My lovely hole."

OK - tis actually a condo unit, located somewhere in the the earlier batus of Cheras. There's four of us renting there, and we are on Level 16.

The story I'm about to tell you came to exist simply because Level 16 is not the highest floor of the tower we live in. There is a... gasp! cheng, cheng, cheng... eeeiiikkk...! Level 17.

So we have neighbours above us. No big deal, right? Probably a couple, probably not married, probably night-birds - still, no big deal right?

The thing is... (all mysteries have things in it. Tis the things that make a mystery a mystery. If you already knew what the thing is all about then it would not be a mystery, right?)

OK, the thing is, we've been hearing weird noises, coming from right above.

Hey, what do you mean, "no big deal?!" Of course it is a big deal if you live in a it-all-boils-down-to-flats house and hears weird noises from above!

And here's the thing: The thing is, the noise starts only when it's after 11PM... and it gets worst when it is after 1AM...

What kind of noises, you asked?

Well, do you know how it sounds if you hear a big-ass, filled-to-bursting-point luggage fell off a bed on to the floor? Yep, that kind of thud!, that's what I'm talking about.

Sometimes the thud! gets louder, as if the luggage bag had multiplied three times larger and the bed had risen several feet higher. Yep, and these low, baritone thud!s happen at around 3AM, or 4AM...

All of us - on one night or another - had jumped off our bed, out of our deep, REM, beauty sleep, thanks to these big thud!s. Even I did, once - and be in the know that I do tidur mati OK. And Jenny B's attributing the latest zit outbreaks to these noises which had yanked her out of sleepdome these past few nights.

If you think the thud!s and the louder thud!s were bad, get this - sometimes they "move furniture" during the wee hours too, and you'll get to hear the teeth-gritting dragging of something heavy, something kinda wood-ish and big-ish, across the marble floor. And I cringe just imagining what state their marble floor would look like by now.

It's like every night they've dropped an RM50 note behind the dressing table, and they have to move the table to get it, and then move the table back to its place.

Or maybe it wasn't an RM50 note that slid to the back of the dressing table.

Maybe it was a little plastic tub of Bobbi Brown lipstick and the Maybelline mascara. Maybe it was the tiny Red Earth lip gloss and a blob of SaSa glittering eye-shadow.

Cause we also get to hear a noise that sounds like a couple of dice being thrown onto the floor. Or maybe the couple was playing that kampung game of bottlecaps.

But the sound we hate most was the hammering sound! That off-key tuk, tuk, tuk, tuk! - a couple of seconds of silence - then tuk, tuk, tuk, tuk! rythm was driving all four of us crazy!

It was everytime when the tuk, tuk, tuk, tuk! sound came that Nad said if it persists, she's going to go up and tell the couple off. She was going to tell them to be quiet, and stop all kinds of carpentry work after 7PM.

Of course, everytime Nad said that, the hammering (as if the people above could hear us) ceased...

But here's the other thing. Last night, the hammering, after the routine threat was issued, did not cease! So Nad was already on her feet, persuading Jenny B to come with her, ready to give the neighbour a piece of her mind.

I was about to let her go, musing about going as well, when I suddenly thought of asking, "Yo Nad, you sure you wanna do it?"

And she retorted, (not quickly enough, though - interrupted by a series of tuk, tuk, tuk, tuk!) "Hell, yeah!"

Suddenly the worst went through my mind (Hehehe Ariel, I gotta credit you for these frightening thoughts - remember you told me about that film, Saw? Ah, what would I do without your inspiration input kekekeekeh!).

And out of the vision that flashed through my brain, I said in frantic:

"What if our neighbour turned out to be a psycho? And the thud! was them putting a body onto a table. And the louder thud! was them on nights they have someone obese?

"And the dragging sound was them pushing the table, with the body on top, to go under the bigger-watt light?

"And the dice-throwing sound came out when they've chopped off the body's fingers, and the one that makes the loudest dice-throwing sound was the melantun-lantun fingers with rings and bling-blings attached?

"And the hammering was them placing the chopped body parts into a coffin?"

"Imagine them going like this... (And I did a quick charade routine: an axe on my hand, my face expressionless, and I go swing-haiyak, swing-haiyak, swing-haiyak, chopping an imaginary object placed on an imaginary table)..."

"And then you show up in front of their door!" And I shivered - exaggerated a bit for emphasis on the thrill factor of the outlook presented.

"ARGH!!! Ei! melampau betul imaginasi kau nih!" Nad and Jenny B cursed, appreciating my bloody fiction.

Then my sister said, "No, remember Poltergist? Yeah, the latest one, where they show how it all started?" she asked enthusiastically.

And just as enthusiastically Nad nodded. Encouraged by Nad's respond, my sister calmly pointed to the window nearest to us, and calmly continued:

"Well imagine how bout as we're talking like this, our neighbour above do a poltergistic swing down and ask, "WHAT WAS THAT?"... "


And the hammering sound from above stopped...

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Gulp, gulup, gelap!

We were waiting for our order of McDonald's to arrive - dang, sometimes their delivery service can cause so much anxiety among hungry writers. As we waited we bitched about the orange drink that goes with the Prosperity Burger - some like it, some don't, and I said if my tongue's on chilli fire, I'd gulp it down anyway.

And suddenly the lights blinked, twice, then it died off altogether. "Yeah! Blackout!"

If you still can't guess it, we love blackouts. Alright, alright, us who have filed their story, or waiting for some PR lady to feed us with the information we need, or simply do not have anything much to do was enjoying the blackout.

We looked around to find if anyone's in distress, and, erm, nope. No one was! So the only legittimate grumble would still be on the late delivery of our respective McDonald's order.

And then the lights came back on! And the PCs rebooted themselves. Darn, it was the bloody generator! Aw man, that means no half-day would be issued. And where the heck is the McDonald's guy anyway?

Just as we were about to shout "We hate McDonalds!" the lights went off again. Moments after that someone called out to say the guy has just arrived. What? No Prosperity Twister fries to go with the burger? Insane!

Oh, apparently their fryer's down - no electricity maa.. OK, long, straight, cokkeng* fries will do then.

Then one by one reporters came back in to announce:

"Oh, JB's having a blackout as well!"

"Heard it started from Batu Pahat or something like that?"

"Maybe the whole central-southern block of the Peninsula is affected..."

"Traffic lights semua not on lah. And the traffic outside's gone haywire!"

"Ooh, we nearly got caught in the lift twice, once just now in Mutiara, second time just down there in the office lobby."

"Just now Ken's mom called and she said Seremban is already into its second hour of blackoutlah."

"Eh got a call from a PR from the 3 o'clock's assignment - she said KLCC's guards not allowing people to enter the building nor cars into the carpark."

"Baguslah tu, cause C who was on her way there just called to say cabs would not take passengers anyway and they've closed the LRT stations."

"There's already reports of jammed phone lines... Hey, my hubby hasn't replied my SMSla."

"I just got an SMS from Z, he said he'd love to come to work but his car ran out of gas, and since the petrol station's having a blackout as well, he's stuck with a bunch of bored sweaty angry hungry motorists somewhere before the Kajang toll. Now he can't even go back!"

On and on they report and compared input. And I asked, "Will my Equatorial assignment at 5.30 this eve be cancelled as well?"

When I didn't get any positive feedback from those present at the Editorial area, I went on with vengeance - "Habislah TNB esok..."

"Yeah, they'd be fried by the newshounds!"

"Well, we need some answers, right?"

Yeah, what was the reason of the blackout? Who and which areas were affected? How much loss suffered? So how now?

*cokkeng means erect, protruding or tersembul keluar in Terengganu dialect. Right Yana? And I still want my happy curly fries!

Fast facts on...


Yes, Cannes - France's "most glamourous of all the towns on the coast and is renowned worldwide for its annual Film Festival".

Fast Fact 1
Cannes was once a small fishing vilage, now a favourite retreat among the rich with a population of 60,000. There are still fishermen, with wooden boats doing their thing around the old port area.

Fast Fact 2
Besides the Cannes Film Festival, there are other cultural and industrial festivals and conventions that take place there all year round. Among others, the 3GSMWC (work, man..).

Fast Fact 3
Have two public beaches, but if those are crowded the Plages du Midi (located west of the old town Le Suquet) is also an option. (Should I bring my bikini?)

Fast Fact 4
Where to shop: Rue d'Antibes, which is the main shopping street that has both luxury shops and plenty of other options for shoppers with modest budget (that's me!). Also, the near the area of the old port, where there are narrow streets filled with interesting little shops.

Fast Fact 5
Where to eat: The old town, specifically Rue Saint Antoine is lined up with restaurants. Also Rue Felix Faure if you love fish, and Rue Meynadier, which is long street full of bakers, cheese shops and pasta (oui!) of all variety.

Fast Fact 6
Currency: Used to be France Francs, but since February 2002 it has been changed to Euro. Current exchange rate: 1.00 EUR Euro = 5.04332 MYR Malaysia Ringgits. Tolong!

Fast Fact 7
Weather check: Last year's February average was 12'C, with maximum 20'C and minimum 8'C. (Ookaaaayyy... maybe I should forget about the two public beaches I mentioned earlier...)

Fast Fact 8
Language: (Tongue-rolling, nose-pinching) French. (Oui, merci, moi, RSVP... don't think I know anything else besides those...)


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Ti-grrrrr cupped!

OUR so-called "dangerous" lot of football players " cheated" some 60,000 fans - so sez one local tabloid I spied this morning. NST claimed we've been hit by an attack measured 4 on the Richter scale.

Have to credit the Indonesian team - eventhough I didn't watch the game (out of fear of jinxing it) I bet they must have bentes-ed our team left and right last night. Took full advantage of our lack of semangat juang and of course, skills, and celebrated with some 10,000 Indonesian fans present at the stadium - kudos!

No, I'm noit being unpatriotic - I just happen to agree with the sports reporter that our side "simply didn't have the quality to earn a place in the Tiger Cup final."

If it's any consolation, I do think Kit Kong is kinda cute.