Thursday, January 31, 2008

Chicken to "recce" the "snafu"

Two words came to my attention recently:

The first word is "recce".

According to the word "recce", which is a noun which us Malays like to pronounce as "reiki", is a slang of the word "reconnaissance". A couple of online dictionary describes "reconnaissance" as " search made for useful military information in the field, esp. by examining the ground. "

(Sheesh, say la "recce" means "looksie-looksie"!)

The second word is "snafu".

"Snafu" is easier to understand, and I like's input: "badly confused or ridiculously muddled situation".

(Though I always tell whoever asks me, "What is snafu?", I always tell em, "Snafu is a guest character in Thundercats, he' s Snarf's cousin. Yeah yeah, Snafu appears in a couple of episodes, just like Mumra's pet, Mamat.")

Now back to snafu, ain't that the everyday picture of our lives? My life at least, if we're talking about career anyways, is in a snafu.

Wait, did I hear someone asking, "What's a chicken like you doing in snafu?"

Well, I'm no longer the chicken trapped in a farm in a snafu. I'm more like a chicken on a "recce" mission in the farm, which is in a snafu. The recce will also be conducted outside the snafu.

It has come to that, ladies and gentlemen. This chicken is past the phase of denial. The snafuness of the farm area has made this chicken drowsy in a snafu of emotions.

And yesterday when an ex-farmer called to check if the chicken wants to jump coop, this chicken kinda feel like it is not the time yet, there's still a few more fun stuff to be discovered through this recce business.

This chicken, let me tell you ladies and gentleman, is warming up to the recce mission. Though it is quite understandable if the snafuness of the farm begets more snafu, this chicken is up for IT!

Blow a kiss this way and wish this chicken a bit of luck!

p/s: SOALAN ESEI SPM: Kepada seorang anak Melayu, adalah lebih mudah untuk menghasilkan penulisan yang baik di dalam bahasa ibunda berbanding dengan bahasa asing. Bincangkan.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Chickies in the slaughter home

If you guys have you guys seen Babe, (in Malaysia the film's aka Seekor Khinzir Gagah Yang Bernama Babe) betcha all remember that scene in which the Farmer's wife decides between Lemon Duck or Roast Pig for Christmas. Some other thing ended up as Xmas dinner, Funny Duck came out from hiding and Babe sang Jingle Bells.

(Jingle Bells, as sang by Babe goes something like this; "Llal llal laa, Llal llal laa, Llalh llal llalh lal-lhaa!" And the farmer's wife tickles his his round stomach, kucheekucheekoo.)

There's also that scene in that stop-motion flick, Chicken Farm or something, in which the chickens who no longer produces eggs gets to visit a dark, menacing looking house and never to be seen again.

Us chickens are on the chopping board today. Anyone might get to be deployed to another farm, which may not suit us, nor suit our skills. Not all chicken farms need chickens that lay eggs. Some just want your meat and bulu (um yes King of the Court Lee Chong Wei will find some use for it), and eventually they'll send your dead body into cold storage.

Yippidee yay.

(Currently whistling Whistle While You Work)

Friday, January 18, 2008

Thanking two front office personnels of Mandarin Oriental KL

I'd like to thank two wonderful personnel of Mandarin Oriental Kuala Lumpur who were on duty at the front desk yesterday at 2.20PM for giving me a couple of pens to write.

See a patron of the hotel borrowed my good pen and in the midst of a phone call, he absent-mindedly left the lobby without returning it to me. I was busy making a call myself, so I didn't notice he left town.

About to be in an interview in 5 minutes, I quickly asked the staff at the front desk if they have a pen or pencil they could spare. The two personnels handed me the one they were using and saved me from great embarassment.

They also took the time to explain to me that the pens were made with recycled paper. Cool eh?

"The technology bubble has burst"

So says someone who claims he knows all about blogging and what nots of the IT world.

Tis the Big Big Farmer of course, who earlier claimed he could lay eggs just as good as us Chickens do. He hasn't done any of the sort so far.

I feel like singing the song that scared Frampton Nuttel so much, the one that goes something like "Bertie, Bertie, when are you coming home?" and I don't even know why it is that song that came to mind. Maybe cause I'm thinking all text-like and sounds has a habit of falling on deaf ears right now.

Aiyo what's the use of getting all worked out over Big Big Farmers doings. It's not as if us Chickens gonna lay more eggs if we sing more songs.

Plus it's not like us Chickens been that productive all these while cause Big Farmer just wanted numbers, even quality doesn't matter cause Big Farmer likes to leave a big room for improvement. Today three eggs, tomorrow four, but who cares cause Big Farmer thinks 100 eggs per minute (epm) is the standard that us Chickens should produce.

So us Chickens better just keep on laying eggs at 3 epm - just change the look a bit to technocolour (magazine, glossy, big graphics)- and wait till the Big Big Farmer chokes on an artichoke and die and a new Big Big Farmer comes along and say we shouldn't have change our names to "Duck" and polkadot is the way to go.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Stupidity sets the tone for 2008

Things are back in the sewers as far as the farm goes.

Chickens will be slaughtered, eggs-eater will choke with foul stuff coming out of the eggs, and Chickens will even be renamed to something stupid like "Duck".

Big Big Farmers are suggesting that us Chickens should produce eggs that everyone can eat, not just those who loves eating eggs since they were born. Imagine a fishmonger asking the fisherman to bring back only ikan bilis from the sea as the ikan terubuk would be too bone-y to swallow.

Big Big Farmers are saying that us Chickens should not blame the grocers for not selling eggs when eggs don't fly off the shelves, because if the eggs got good things inside, then buyers would be coming to the farm to buy them. Imagine Nokia telling its engineers and designers not to blame Low Yat and Sungai Wang vendors when E65 does not sell well, cause had the engineers and designers named the phone "Funky Little Princess" instead of E65, the phone would've sold itself.

Big Big Farmers are suggesting us Chickens do not know what eggs we're laying, and they're trying to outsource eggs supply from their friends, The Big Bad Wolf. Imagine an editor accusing Judith McNaught of not reading the stories she wrote, while the real intention is to have the editor's friend make money as a ghost writer.

Big Big Farmers are challenging us Chickens, saying "Don't think we don't know how to lay eggs, cause we know all about it even the low-cholesterol LTK stuff!". Truthfully, us Chickens don't care if Big Big Farmers do know how to lay their own eggs, frankly we'd love to see them try.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Awal Muharram detik permulaan..

Yeah, I'm officially set to start the new year with a resolution that I had to bring forward from last year.

This year, I'm going to note down each sen of my expenses so that I'll know exactly where my money is wasted. That said, I'm not exactly owning up to a reputation of a spendthrift - that's just it, my money runs out every month but I can't seem to remember what I had spent on.

So dengan lagu Maal Hijrah yang berkumandang di telinge, I here by declare tomorrow will be starting day of me writing into a triple 5 notebook of all my spending.

I'm gona be analysing everything come month end, and I'll try to do better the next month. By year end, I hope to save enough money to buy one of Tata Motors' People Car. Not that I want to start driving again though. It's just a good car to have around, just in case I need to drive.

.. Or maybe I'll wait till they come up with a car you can carry in your bagpack - inflatable bubble car?