A letter for Ariel who was recently deemed tak cukup syarat

slug: letter.sya

Dere Ariel,

before I start - we missed you last night! If I have my way with that plonking toilet of yours, I'll.. I'll... I'll... (trembles with geramity)

Anyway. Truth is I've got a confession: I've gotten you a birthday pressie way back in August. It's a lovely, proper, functional yet stylish gift - a truly remarkable piece of something that deserves only the remarkables (such as yourself) for a master.

I got it nicely wrapped in blue wrapping paper, but I haven't got a card to go with it. So then, then way back in August, I stashed the gift in my closet and told myself that "I'll get the card right before our next so-called "book-club" meeting."

And so lies the perfect gift for a perfect pal in my closet, bounded beautifully but cardless, like a beauty forgotten, like a stray coin under the bed, like a new kite hooked on a wall... You get the drift, right?

Till the night before last. The night I took out the gift and said, "Tomorrow I'll pop it in my backpack and get a nice, small, pink card that says -Happy Burfday- to go with it."

The next morning I woke up with a start - tis 8.30AM and I'm supposed to be at Kampung Cyberjaya Hulu for a peecee with Uncle Lim at 10.00AM! Aramak!

Rush the bath, rush the grooming, rush the ride, rush the assignment.

At noon I was finally done. Uncle Lim's still entertaining the press with his give-a-monkey-a-banana and wazzit-Wi-Fi-or-wifey jokes, but I'm done - besides, it's more fun to skodeng that cute TVTiga reporter packing up as I myself pack up - and GASP - whaddaya know?

I realized I've forgotten to 'pop-in' your gift, your perfect gift, into my backpack!

So the truth is, last night I giftlessly marched to Midvalley's Pizza Hut armed with only a little pink card, on it written 1] a charming apology for forgetting to bring your pressie and 2] a lame attempt to persuade you to "enjoy the mystery of the waiting game" and 3] a sincere promise to deliver you the gift soon.

I don't know what possessed the person who came up with the saying "two wrongs made a right" - he obviously had never forgotten to bring a cardless present but bought a card anyway and written 1], 2], and 3] (refer the above paragraph) then didn't even get the chance to give it cause the intended recipient's toilet busted so she could not make it to the date.

Huh.

So now I still have that perfect gift I was telling you about, and now not-so-perfect card I was telling you about. So when shall we meet?

Before I pen off, let me just wish you a slightly early Very Happy Birthday, May All Your Dreams (including that weird one about you and me winning an RM100,000 cash reward in a susu tepung contest, oh wait, that's mine isn't it?) Come True.

Regards,
Me!

p/s: Yo Ariel, I'm practically addicted to your blog loh! Each post cracks me up like a dozen of Thunderclaps with the sumbus tied and lighted together on a simultaneous launch! And don't bother about that tak cukup syarat issue, you're more than cukup syarat in all aspects in my book. Happy D!