Kempunan Pizza Hut's Chunky Loaded

I'm not sure if there's a English word for "kempunan". Roughly translated it means a craving not satisfied and that it leaves a sense of sorrow that might stay in your heart forever as whatever it was the person craved for may no longer be available in the future.

It's like a 90 old woman craving for her grandma's homemade chocolate chip cookies... Or Jackie O craving for JFK's omelette... (er they're both dead so that means I'm raving, didn't have my coffee yet..)

OK, maybe I should've stopped at craving not satisfied... but if you've seen the film Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup, you'd know that Pekan and Melur's mom took her kempunan heart to her death... ngap!

In any case, my little kempunan story has got to do with Pizza Hut. And it's latest pizza variation, the Chunky Loaded Pizza.

Last night I thought it's been several days of rice, and I needed a break. So at 7.30 I contacted the usual number 1300882525... waited... got someone to talk to me and the guy redirected me to a PHD number, 1399822020.

Had to call the second time, and by 7.34 after hearing the current promotions four times I managed to get the line picked up by a human.

All that trouble and the guy on the line told me, "Chunky Loaded kita tak deliver la kak. Kakak datang restoren la." (We don't deliver Chunky Loaded. Come to the restaurant la.)

Why? The guy do not know why PHD do not deliver Chunky Loaded.

So I decided since I've gone through all the hassle, by hook or by crook I'm gona eat some pizza anyhow.

I asked for the value set. It's supposed to come with a regular pizza, two canned drinks and a choice of four chicken something or two bowls of mushroom soup. I made my order and the guy told me to allow for 30 minutes for the delivery. OK. By the time I hanged up, it was 7.40.

I went on with a bit of chores then realised at 8.15 that my pizza is late. I gave it another 5 minutes and made a call to enquire. "Kak our rider has left and he will be arriving soon, please give it another five to ten minutes?"

"OK."

But 15 minutes passed on and still no pizza.

I called again and told him that it's been nearly an hour since I ordered my pizza.

"Kak it seems here the rider has left and we're not sure if he's arrived," said the PHD guy.

"The reason I called is to tell you that he hasn't. If my pizza's here I would not be calling, no?"

"But our rider has left."

"I'm really hungry now and the kids are furious. So I'd like to cancel my order," I replied, not really interested in pizza anymore at this point.

"Cancel? Cancel. OK la cancel ya."

"OK thank you." And I waited for a bit in case the guy wants to apologize or offer me a discount coupon for my next order, but nothing. I hanged up.

After a trip out with the boys for some street side burgers, at 10.30 around about I received a call from an unknown number.

"Kak, this is Pizza Hut, were you the one who orders a value meal earlier?"

"Yes, why?"

"So macamana ni kak?" (So how now?)

"The boys got really hungry and furious, I just got back from a trip out for burgers. I made three calls and canceled the order after waiting for over an hour for the delivery."

"Oh cancel ya? Sorry, we had problems bla bla bla bla. That's why I called you back. So how now?"

"If you want to deliver now for free, I'll take it."

"We'll see how. We're still sorting out the problems bla bla bla bla."

"OK when you can deliver, call me. And I don't want to pay for it."

"OK we'll try," said the guy before we cut the line. Again, a tiny flicker of hope materialised in me.

Maybe I can sahur with the pizza, thought this stupid little person who thinks the world still gives her a damn.

I bet you can guess how the story ends.

I case you can't, I'll tell you this: The world doesn't give a damn and Pizza Hut just got me all kempunan...