Street pedicure

^ Miss Saigon in the making.

I've heard about the legendary beauty of Miss Saigon, and recently I had the chance to meet one in the making. No wonder la the ladies here are so pretty...

See beauty and personal grooming services are available along the streets in Saigon, and it is cheap too! One lady who was doing it said she charges only VND50,000 (=/-RM12) for both manicure and pedicure.

Crap in the Coop

Crap.*

There are just way too many wacko things going on in the coop. The Chickens in this Coop can only fart eggs, and wish only to fart out good eggs, but the quacks are making it extremely difficult to concentrate on delivering eggs and giving us Chickens more topics to poo about.

First, the Farmer.
Infamously lame, not quite warming up to the concept of Chickens being in the Coop because they could fart fresh eggs, instead loves leaving Chickens in big rooms of improvement. The head-honcho of the Coop who kowtows to the Little Napoleanina and the Concubine.

Second, the Little Napoleanina.
Tries to look and act cool but comes out looking power-trippy all the way. Loves to laugh at the idea of producing fresh eggs especially if the Farmer was the one making the lame-o jokes about it. The one who actually rules the Coop and calls the Pillar the best egg-farter in the world.

Third, the Donkey.
Nicknamed Donk, (Donk, not Don ala Don Coyote ye) Donkey is the resident talk-cocker. The bum that forces other Chickens to do OT. Always gay-and-giddy-upping outside the Coop and annoying the hell out of all Chickens too on top of everything. Gah! Farmer also calls Donk "Precious".

Fourth, the Concubine.
The crap* this post is all about. Adored and cherished by the Farmer and Little Napoleanina, this wacko David-Blaines changes on eggs on whim, as if no else (not even Chickens who actually the farted the eggs) know anything about eggs. Concubine also comes to the Coop and goes around town wearing a big-ass nametag that says, "TSK! I'M THE COOP'S CHIEF." Perasan betul...

Fifth, the Pillar
The egg-farter who once impressed the socks of Farmer and Little Napoleanina. The Coop's resident Gossip Girl, Pillar is also an expert when it comes to power-fanning the butts of the Farmer and Little Napoleanina.

Us, the Chickens
We eat, we drink, we meet them Darksiders^. We fart eggs. We gossip about the Farmer, Little Napoleanina, Donkey, Concubine and Pillar. Can't help it cause we're all in this charming lil' Coop. Thee hee hee.

^ Who's the Darksiders?
Maybe I'll tell you guys about them in another post.

Kasi sambelih itu projek!

^ Today's NST article, "PKR leader aims to review mega projects" featured Anwar Ibrahim's comment on mega projects, to which he said, "The RM15.2 billion high-speed broadband project would be cancelled as it was unnecessary."

"Unnecessary."

Wow, it's like he's taking cue from this one guy we knew who recently said, "Technology supplements should not be published anymore because technology is dead."

Gosh, it's like telling the world, we don't need TV. Cause soon broadband's gonna be the new TV. Take TV for its information dissemination, education and entertainment values, and add globalisation, communication, interactivity, cross culture, knowledge exchange and so on and so on...

Hmm, is this all a big conspiracy to revert the people back into dark ages?

Chickens speak Farmer, Farmers no speak Chicken

This Chicken got a bit soft yesterday - participated in a little bit of lameness with the Farmer. Ya, it was one of those rare moments when Chickens indulge in speaking Farmerish.

In fact This Chicken was so fluent in Farmerish that we even shared a little chuckle together.

In retrospect, it was kinda nauseating.

But those rare days do come.

And those rare moments do take place. Just that when it happens, it happens in a flash, unplanned, almost always regretted by This Chicken the second later.

But will Farmer even speak Chicklish? I don't think so!

Chicken vs Little Napoleanina

Before this post gets any further, let me just tell you what the outcome was:

This Chicken lost.

This Chicken lost to the Little Napoleanina, the nincompoop who came up with the idea of producing one helluv-an egg, yet could not figure out what colour the egg should be.

"White la!"

So you may say. Simple what.

Alo brader, eggs can come in many colours you know. White, off-white, pale white, brown, off-brown, pale brown, get the drift?

And This Chicken happens to be a fan of Easter eggs. You know, really colourful stuff? Quite hard to find but once you do it is worth telling people that you're the one who found it. If not pretty, you might as well don't have it.

Back to Little Napoleanina, who thinks all little napoleaninas are farmers by default. So Little Napoleanina found a great excuse of an egg, could not figure out what colour it should be, and then tells This Chicken to find lah a good one.

Suka-suka mak abah dia. Whoever wants an egg should freakin' fart one out la! Ape kes nak suruh gua pulak? Protest, protest.

But in the end, This Chicken ended up farting an egg out anyway. The colour? Blue. Of the gloomiest shade.

So what did This Chicken lost?

Her temper.

And whatever little amount of respect she had for Little Napoleanina 10 minutes ago.

UiTM oh UiTM

I am, well partly anyways, a UiTM product, tis one of the best training and learning ground I've ever attended.

During my time there, I like UiTM because of its:
1] Unconditional love for practicality.
For example, the lecturers always share updated skills, best practices and lessons learnt - the rest, don't bother (OK la, once in a while they remind us what poopbooboo you musn't do), not gonna be in asked exams anyway. We get more group tasks rather than individual basis. Most of the time, we have to do groupwork. Meaning divide and conquer. Meaning if you get lousy teammates, you can report to the lecturer everytime they screw team meetings then ditch their names out of the paper before you submit it. Totally acceptable.

2] Emphasis on let's-get-real, real-world experience.
Internship is a must. No internship, no diploma/degree. Of course with internship you get to learn the fact that some of your lousy teammates will likely end up getting a job as well as they too get to claim that they've done the real world thing, and they might just grow to become the assholes that grace the workplace outside. The good news is, you get to see their asses gets kicked by the officers/staff at the place where they do internship. Super cool!

3] Hardsell on long-term thinking.
Like you submit your theses in softcopy, print only the final/approved copy, save a tree, save the environment, save the world (sorry no cheerleader involved). Plus when you have lousy teammates you won't have to worry about having to minimise on printing paper as they produce nothing worth printing anyway, and they end up not ace-ing, and further down the road there is no need to waste paper for printing their scrolls which they are to embarrased to show anyone anyway.

4] Job opportunities available on campus.
The programming students get to commercialise their codes, the music students get to perform tunes like the Mission Impossible theme song during convocations, the photography students get to take photos of the graduating students and sell it back to them on the cheap (well it was very affordable during my time la no need to go to studios)... Oh ya, you can also become "part-time" security guards. The guys can just walk back to dorm 15 minutes after curfew while the gals can simply wear short-sleeve tees. Guaranteed to garner you a two-hour lecture by the (mostly) Little Napoleans who actually just want some company while they keep an eye on the grounds from their comfy little guard house.

Now who wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to be in UiTM? Syok oo..