Raya bytes

Top five quotes netted from conversations overheard (or forced to listen to) during recent Raya break:

1] Mak Utih Minang Gombak to her guests of unmarried nieces plus unmarried daughters: "If you aren't married but your carreer is going great like Ella's it's OK. Ni kerja tah hape-hape, and always underpaid, baik kau semua cari laki kaya, yang bayar hantaran sampai RM44,444 gitu..."

2] Pak Chik Razak to his bunch of yuppie nephews and nieces: "Kau nak jadi Datuk? Hah, tak payah buat MBA. Kau cari je mana-mana somebody yang ada bini, anak empat; berharta, berpangkat - lepas tu kau rampas dia, jadikan laki kau. Mesti kau dapat Datukship lepas tu... Tapi takdelah kami nak respect kau lagi dah lepas tu."

3] Yuppie older cousin to even yuppier younger cousins: "Who is this Amir Muhammad? Why is NST wasting its page on him when he can only write cock? Since he's so jealous his film is banned while Rosyam Noor's stuff are all over the TV and wayang, do something about it gentlemanly lah, not whine like a Lisdawati on newspaper like this!"

4] Mak Ngah Siah to Kak Leha Taiping: "Apa pasal diorang nak marah Arni je, tah-tah masa still married si Awie tu bukan jaga pun anak-anak dia. Arni tu muda lagi, elok masuk Akademi Fantasia je."

5] A grandfather to grandchildren: "Hep! Abang, Adik! No Gerak Khas scenes, remember?"

The perfect way to meet perfectly good people..

.. is by getting yourself in trouble. I mean deep, deep trouble.

Take my day for example. I was running late for a date with flight MH 94, and I missed the 1.10PM ERL Transit. Called fello travelling mate for advice, and he said MAS says 2.15PM should be alright still for checking in.

Wasted an extra 30 mins, and contemplated getting a cab or someone to drive me. Figured out if everything goes well, I'll still be able to check in for my 3.15PM flight to Taiwan by 2.15PM on the 1.40PM Transit.

While debating the virtues of cabs vs trains, I met this nice young Engineering student, Jega, who was nice enough to help me go through my options. Stuck to the taking 1.40PM Transit.

Train came quickly when you have a nice young fella to talk to and calm your nerves.

We sat in front of this nice purple tudung clad lady, who was on her way to KLIA to Kuching. She was wise enough to check in at KL Sentral and start off early. Now why wasn't I able to do the same?

When she told us that ERL is having a little problem - that she's actually an Express ticket holder, not Transit, I got even more kancheong!

Train moved slower than usual after Jega's stop, Putrajaya/Cyberjaya. I frantically called everyone - my mom for prayers, my sis for a contact person at MAS counter.

Decided I'll have to do more than that - just as the ERL stop dead inside some kind of tunnel right before Salak Tinggi. Mak!!!

"If this train don't move in 2 seconds, I'm not going to Taiwan! I'M GOING TO DIE ONE!" my brain screamed out.

I went around to the guy at the next row and asked if he has MAS Toll Free Number. He didn't, but the Encik behind him does!

I got talking to a MAS employee and he assured me that even half an hour before boarding gate closes is good enough still for check in. "ERL ada masalah? Takpe cik proceed je. Jangan risau."

OK will try. Train starts moving again. Finally got to Salak Tinggi. A MAS crew walked in, and I attacked her with queries. They prolly had the same teacher. She also said, "Cik proceed je. Sempat tu."

I even found out which ERL train door is closest to the excalator. Three ERL staff was standing at a particular door, and assured me to follow them and grab the lift that goes straight to the departure hall as the messed us ERL train is going to hub at the Express exit instead of the far away (unfair!) Transit.

Did exactly that then found the checking counter. The lady behind the counter wasn't as friendly the two I came in contact with earlier, but she managed to get my Enrich card swiped and sent me running to the boarding gate.

Got on train, got on flight, got to Taiwan. Except for the part where the uncle next to me tried to tell me not to wear anything green or red due to current political unrest whilst in Taipei (in Mandarin lagi tu!), the rest of the day was not as interesting.

Tis a good Friday

There's a big buzz today at the new coop.

Filming on the company's ad was going on in the main area, and lots of people who didn't look like they've ever worked in a publishing house showed up looking all corporate-sy with files in hand, and tried to blend in.

And we all tried to look like the productive lot we always are. Betul ke ayat ni? OK lah tu.

The ad director came walking around while waiting for the set to be prepared, and asked me what I was writing about.

"I'm writing about a talking vacuum cleaner." (Trying to sound as if this is the kind of thing I do everyday.)

"Come again? Really?" (Heard it for the first time, but just could not believe his simple question would've gotten a reply like the above.)

"Yeah, really." (Betui incik.. Sure do wish I was writing about something else though!)

"Well, what does it say?" (One brow up, the other holding a sign that says "Biar betul minah nih?")

"Oh, stuff like 'Power on.' and 'Maximum mode.' kinda thing." (Imitates the vacuum cleaner to a T)

"No kidding? Anything else?" (Starting to believe what I said was true.)

"Uhm.. no. No gossip, no singing a tune, er.. not much."

"Ah, too bad." (Looks genuinely disappointed.)

"Next model maybe." (Sincerely hopes this will lift his spirits up.)

"Ah... ya, next model, maybe." (Lightens up instantly. Then walks away to safety, just in case I start talking about the coffee machine that can recite poems in the morning.)

p/s: Hari ni durian runtuh dari s-o-n-y!